Betrothed to the Enemy
by SixEcho
Summary: Thanks to Lionels twisted games, Lex has one week to find himself a wife or else his entire fortune will be forfeited and he'll be left with nothing. Chloe Sullivan reluctantly finds herself helping him. (Yes, its a chlex)
1. Nobody Survives an Autopsy

Title: Betrothed to the Enemy  
  
Summary: The terms of Lionel's last will and testament were anything but simple. Lex Luthor will inherit a large share of the fortune only if he agrees to the terms of the contract. He must find love and marry a woman. If they are still together, in a year then Lex will gain his inheritance, if not, the money will be forfeited. He has one week to get himself a wife.  
  
Disclaimer: This may come as a shock to many but I *don't* own Smallville. Neither do I own The Bachelor (you know, that movie where I stole this idea from).  
  
Chapter One: Nobody Survives an Autopsy  
  
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Late for his father's funeral, how ironic. Lex slowly entered into the church's tiny driveway amongst the many other vehicles. The traffic in Smallville usually consisted of three speeding tractors and a suicidal cow that loved to run in the opposite direction, but today the elite of Metropolis had braved the countryside to pay their respects.  
  
Lex wore a look of complacency as he walked into the quaint church. He unbuttoned his black Armani that his father hated and proceeded to accept the not-so-heartfelt condolences. Why Lionel's last wish was to be buried in this freak show of a town evaded Lex, but nevertheless, he'd arranged for him to be laid to rest in the tainted green soil of Smallville. There were two distinct groups of people: the Smallville crowd and their Metropolis counterparts. Of course *none* of them wanted to be there.  
  
Lex glanced over to the open coffin that was being viewed by passive mourners. Clark stood among them, warily looking into the coffin with a morbid fascination, not willing to believe that Lionel had truly perished.  
  
"Hey Clark." Lex said, breaking the silence.  
  
"Holy Moses!" Clark yelled, spinning around at the sound of Lex's voice. He looked visibly flustered; his performance drew several glares.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just so quiet in here. Like a library... only with a dead person." Lex stated glancing at the deceased. Even in his coffin Lionel seemed smug. Well, seeing as how the interior was designed from Spanish cotton, he *should* feel smug.  
  
"I-I'm okay..." Clark stuttered, recovering from shock and avoiding the glares he received from people who were annoyed with his outburst. "Just don't ever sneak up on me when I'm looking into a coffin,"  
  
"Relax Clark, the man is dead." Lex said slowly.  
  
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Screw this. I have what I came for... why am I still here? It's not like I knew Lionel, I couldn't care less that the man was murdered. It was such a sloppy job too... you'd think Lionel would get killed by professionals. Chloe went to retrieve her jacket and leave this miserable situation, but paused when she overheard two women in an interesting conversation.  
  
"...Imagine what Lex will inherit now? I heard that the reading of the will is going to take place at the mansion..."  
  
"I don't suppose it's that simple... what will happen to the entire LuthorCorp industry? Will it be sold for a profit, or will Lex gain control of it?"  
  
"I suppose we'll find out soon enough, I heard a reporter from the Planet will be at the reading... they won't give him *all* the information though, that's for certain..."  
  
Chloe smirked at the news then put her jacket on and headed outside. This was it, one of those big breaks that reporters dream of for their careers... not that she'd actually started her career, but it was a push in the right direction. Who wanted to read about the coverage of the funeral when she could get access to the reading of Lionel's will? She needed to go home and try get into get hold of her contact at the Daily Planet. Maybe she could tag along with this other hotshot reporter who was attending the event. Time was of the essence.  
  
The determined girl headed outside and her eyes fell upon her sleek red car that was blocked by a silver Porsche, displaying a non-subtle license plate.  
  
"Crap..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chloe made her way over to Lex but paused when she saw who was talking to. Clark. This was so pathetic, ever since the fall out between herself, Clark and Lana things had been strained. Sure she loved Clark... the same way you love a stupid puppy that keeps chewing on your new shoes. It wasn't going to stop her though.  
  
"...I'm just really sorry about Lionel," Clark started, "I wish there was something I could have done. If you need anything, I'm here, I really don't know what to say except... this too shall pass."  
  
Oh my God. Was Clark serious? Lex expected this kind of sentimental crap from everyone else, but didn't Clark know that he'd always hated his father? He was sick of everyone trying to help him through this 'difficult' period in his life.  
  
"I'm sure Mr. Luthor can handle this situation without somebody holding his hand Clark," Chloe stated, coming up to the two of them.  
  
Lex resisted the urge to smile. He knew her shots would be directed exclusively at Clark. It wasn't that much of a surprise considering the way they treated each other.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that Chloe... and besides, shouldn't you be digging up dirt on someone somewhere?" Clark fired back as best he could.  
  
Chloe sighed, arguing with Clark was about as effective as arguing with a wet sock. She turned to Lex.  
  
"Are you doing okay?" Chloe bluntly asked the distracted man, pulling her jacket over her simple black dress and searching for her keys.  
  
Lex let out a frustrated sigh at her question, "I'm doing well, considering the current circumstances." He really couldn't stand the way everyone was suddenly concerned about his feelings. It was driving him insane. The truth was he couldn't care less that his father was dead. Nobody understood that, they were walking on eggshells around him and acting overly concerned and-  
  
"Good, so do you think you could move your car? That ego enhancer of yours is blocking me and I need to get home right away." She said matter-of- factly.  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow. Reporters...  
  
"Lex!" a shrill female voiced pierced the air. Lana made her way over to the trio and gave Clark and Chloe two steely glares before turning her attention to Lex.  
  
"Lana, how are..." Lex paused when he felt the sudden tension in the circle. Why did he hang out with angsty teenagers again?  
  
"I'm so sorry about your father Lex..." Lana began, clinging to his arm like a vulture, "It's truly a tragedy, he was such a great man. I can't believe someone would do such a terrible thing, how are you doing? You must feel terrible, please feel free to cry. Showing your emotions in public is the first step in the healing process, maybe we could all join hands and cry together-"  
  
"There will be no joining of hands right now, Lana," Chloe stated, "I came over here because Lex's car is blocking mine and I need to leave."  
  
"I do apologize Chloe, I'll have someone move it," Lex stated, using the excuse to release himself from Lana's deathly grip and the talk of the 'tragedy'.  
  
"How can you think of yourself at a time like this?" Lana hissed at her ex- friend.  
  
"Yes Chloe, that was pretty insensitive of you." Clark agreed.  
  
"Don't you think there's enough sympathy going around? I mean what else can anyone do?" Chloe said slowly for their benefit.  
  
"She does have a point," Lex commented nonchalantly.  
  
"I don't think anyone can help my father now," Lex continued.  
  
Chloe nodded, "Well, nobody survives an autopsy."  
  
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	2. Close Ties

A/N: Ahhh. you found me out! Well, I confess that I am not a member of the Lana fanclub, nor do I remotely understand or appreciate her character. Then again, this fic is not centered around her anyway : )  
  
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Chapter 2: Close Ties  
  
The blonde girl's comment drew two gasps from Clark and Lana and a wide smirk from Lex.  
  
"I cannot believe the way you are behaving," Lana snapped.  
  
Chloe sighed. Things had changed dramatically during their last year of high school; they were all still caught up in the old wounds that had never quite healed. Chloe desperately wanted to leave so she turned to Lex, "Look, I really need to go so please *move* your car."  
  
Lex paused for a second then agreed, giving Clark and Lana a nod before turning to leave with Chloe. Thank God. He was starting to feel nauseous with all the concerned glances. As he walked through the gathering various strangers expressed their swift condolences with pats on the back and forced emotions. They all passed by in a blur.  
  
The sun pierced his eyes as he made it to the outside. Lex leaned against the cold wall and ripped off his tie, loosening his collar.  
  
"It's hard to breath in there with all those people isn't it?" Chloe paused, glancing at the man who drew ragged breaths. There was a twinge of guilt that was growing in her but she brushed it aside.  
  
"Not really... it's just that this tie really doesn't go well with this suit. I don't know what I was thinking." Lex muttered, lowering himself onto a step.  
  
"He made a joke... now I know he's sane enough to move his car out of my-" Chloe paused when she saw her car was blocked in from all sides now by those of new funeral goers. She swore out loud.  
  
Lex follwed her line of sight and shrugged, "I could go in and start asking people who owns a silver Honda? Or maybe I could work it into the eulogy?"  
  
"Forget it." Chloe said frustrated, sitting on the stairs beside him. The two remained there in silence, each with their own thoughts. Neither wanted to go back into the church and face the false tears and black moods.  
  
"Is there a reason why you wanted to leave so soon?" Lex asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"What? Oh... well, yeah, there's a reason." Chloe stated evasively.  
  
"Well? Did your home burn down? Your cat get stuck in the dishwasher?" Lex prodded.  
  
"Firstly I don't have a cat, I'm a dog person." commented Chloe.  
  
Lex laughed, "Figures... you like 'em big and dumb."  
  
Chloe gave him a sideways glance, "Did I detect a hint of innuendo...?"  
  
"Innuendo is in the ear of the listener..." he retorted.  
  
Chloe rolled her eyes, "Well, if you must know I was in Lionel's funeral when I... overheard a conversation about some sort of a meeting about the contents of his will..."  
  
"...and you wanted to get into contact with someone who could get you a ticket to the show?" Lex finished of her sentence with a smirk.  
  
Chloe paused in thought, "Well, yeah, that's pretty much what I meant, except I would have used better grammar to express it." She commented lightly.  
  
"Are you insulting my verbal skills Ms Sullivan?" Lex feigned hurt.  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it Mr. Luthor," Chloe rolled her eyes.  
  
"Why didn't you just ask me?"  
  
"For what?" Chloe responded, smoothing down her silky skirt thoughtfully.  
  
"For a pass to go to the reading of Lionel's will?" Lex stated.  
  
Chloe never thought Lex would actually agree to that, but since he brought it up...  
  
"Will you let me attend the special event, Lex?" Chloe asked seriously.  
  
Lex paused, as if to seriously consider the question, but in reality there was only one answer. The only news coverage allowed was the Planet's top reporter... he wasn't about to let an amateur into the picture.  
  
"No," Lex said casually, getting up and putting his tie back on again. "I will not let you advance your career by using the death of my father a leverage." he continued with a dramatic air.  
  
Chloe groaned, "Give me a break, you couldn't care less about your father's death. People in there may not see it, but I sure as hell can."  
  
Lex looked across the sun baked fields with a smirk, "How would you feel if your father died?" he asked, knowing it was not the same thing.  
  
"I love my father, Lex. Now if my mother died I doubt I'd feel much pain. There's just no way I could pretend to miss her when she was never there to begin with." Chloe said fluidly.  
  
"Well I believe that I feel the same animosity towards my father..." Lex trailed off.  
  
"Harsh words," commented Chloe.  
  
"Actually I just wanted to see if you knew what animosity meant." Lex said, still trying to straighten his tie.  
  
"I graduated from high school two weeks ago, I think I picked up a few things." Chloe shot back.  
  
Lex's voice took on a serious tone, "I'm glad to know you learned something at farm-school."  
  
"You're such an idiot, you know that?" she spat.  
  
The man shook his head with a smile, still struggling with his tie. "Why must you always insult me? I have receive more insults from you during our fleeting conversations that I have from people I've known all my life."  
  
"Well that's because they're all threatened by you, whereas I am not," Chloe said, thoroughly insulted by the way Lex shot down her hopes of getting that story.  
  
Lex's hands stopped fidgeting with his tie and instead he turned to Chloe with folded arms. "Excuse me?"  
  
For the first time Chloe looked directly into his vivid eyes, but refused to be mentally overpowered. "You heard me... I hate repeating myself."  
  
"You know, I think you use this arguing thing as some sort of a barrier between you and the rest of the world." Lex analyzed.  
  
Chloe's jaw dropped, "Who are you? Dr. Phil? I really don't think you're qualified to judge me you... you... psychologically scarred egomaniac!"  
  
Lex raised his eyebrows, "Flattery will get you nowhere, I'm still not letting you go to the reading of my father's will, Chloe."  
  
"You..." she said, embedding her index finger into his chest, "...can call me Ms Sullivan, and mark my words, I going find out about that will one way or the other..."  
  
Lex took a step back, as the girl stormed back into the church. "That's some challenge..." he muttered.  
  
Chloe stuck her head out the door one final time, "By the way your tie looks stupid."  
  
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	3. The Florist

Chapter 3: The Florist  
  
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"Nice timing Lucas," Lex commented as his half brother made an entrance into Lex's office, just before the reading of the will.  
  
"Sorry I couldn't make it to the funeral, something came up," Lucas responded insincerely. Lex didn't blame him at all; it was human nature to retain animosity towards someone who had abandoned you then tried to kill you.  
  
The intimate gathering of people in the office included a few members of the extended Luthor dynasty, several major share holders of LuthorCorp and the Planet's leading reporter. Lionel's lawyer began the proceedings and gradually chipped off smaller portions of the Luthor kingdom till it was down to only Lucas and Lex. The group waited in breathless anticipation, but Lex wore a look of weary as he waited for Lionels last game.  
  
"... to Lucas, the son I never knew, I hope that in my death you will receive what I could not give you in life," The lawyer read, then handed Lucas an envelope.  
  
"It contains the deeds to various properties across Europe, a generous number of shares in LutherCorp and of course a handsome fortune," The older man stated, adjusting his glasses.  
  
Lucas grinned appreciatively, "Thanks dad..." he murmured to himself, then turned to Lex before heading out the door, "I'll see you around. I trust the old man left you just a big of a prize, I won't be hanging around to find out what it is." he said, disappearing through the door.  
  
"Actually this is a concealed matter, for Lex's ears only." The lawyer stated. The group let out the breath they had been holding and shuffled their way out the door, each much wealthier that when they'd come in.  
  
"Lex..." the lawyer said with a frown. "Your father has left you, his first born, absolutely everything. Property, the majority of the shares of LuthorCorp and his assets in Asia."  
  
With half a smile, Lex nodded and waited for the catch, recalling his last conversation with his father...  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"I really did want you to be as strong as I was before I died Lex... but you still have so much to learn..."  
  
"I can lie and tell the truth while keeping the exact same facial expression, what else do I need to learn?"  
  
"Desire, son. You have never desired anything in life that you weren't already addicted to. I see that now, and before you can touch any of my fortune, you will have to learn this lesson..."  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
"Lex? Are you listening to me?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, yes, please continue," Lex stated, leaning forward in his chair and rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"...Alexander, your father left you everything, but there are terms that must be met before you receive this wealth."  
  
Lex braced himself.  
  
"You must find a non-family member to be your partner, someone you trust with your money..." the lawyer began.  
  
-No problem... I happen to know the most honest down to earth farmboy to be partners with- Lex thought.  
  
"You must then marry this person."  
  
-Okay, scratch that idea-  
  
"Then you two must live together, sharing all you have with each other for at least a year to prove that the relationship was genuine."  
  
There was a pause and Lex didn't say anything so the lawyer continued.  
  
"You must find this woman within the next week or all your assets will be forfeited and LuthorCorp will be broken off and sold piece by piece to whoever can afford it."  
  
Lex swore, and got up from his seat. If LuthorCorp fell into someone else's hands, the fluctuation in the business world would cause LexCorp to fall too. Thousands of people would loose their jobs because of him.  
  
"Lex? Do you understand these terms?" the lawyer asked, placing the documents in a neat pile on Lex's desk.  
  
"I do, and I trust you will keep this confidential?" Lex asked. He knew there was no way get out of this contract, his father had made it air tight.  
  
"It's between you, me, Lionel and the government," The man answered before heading out the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Flower delivery for the Luthor's!" Chloe yelled, banging on the front door. She held the giant vase that held a few more surprises other than flowers.  
  
A security guard let her in, "Let me take those."  
  
"No, it's fine, I'll just go put them in Mr. Luthor's office..." Chloe said, but her path was blocked by the man.  
  
The guard looked at her warily, "I don't think so, Mr Luthor isn't in the mood for visitors."  
  
"Well, I need the man's signature for this delivery, so do you think you could get it for me?" Chloe pleaded with her eyes.  
  
The security guard gave her a swift grin and took the clipboard from her. "I'll be right back."  
  
Perfect. Once the coast was clear Chloe set the flowers on the floor and pulled out several cans from the heavy vase and shook them violently. She yanked off the pins that kept them closed and hurled them down different wings of the mansion. Billows of smoke erupted from the cans, clouding the entire are.  
  
"FIRE!" she yelled, just before the alarms went off. She retrieved a gas mask from her white overalls and put it over her face.  
  
Chloe smiled to herself, satisfied with the outcome. The staff members were running around like maniacs, trying to save their lives. She ducked as she saw Lex and his security guard head out of the building.  
  
"Do you need to salvage any valuables?" the guard asked Lex.  
  
"I've learned never to keep anything of great importance in there, and the documents can be replaced," Lex coughed as they made it outside.  
  
"Do you see anyone who's missing?" Lex asked, his eyes scanning across his workers that were on his lawn, watching the smoke emanate through the mansion. Of all the crappy thing that could happen..  
  
"Not that I can tell, what about your lawyer?" the guard asked.  
  
"He left twenty minutes ago, beside nobody ever went to hell for leaving a lawyer in a burning building," Lex stated, "Anyone else?"  
  
"I don't think so... wait! The florist!" The guard said anxiously.  
  
"I have a florist?" Lex asked.  
  
"No, she was here delivering flowers, I don't see her, she must still be inside," the man continued.  
  
"Well was she a particularly evil florist that deserves to die," Lex asked bluntly.  
  
"I. I don't know. She seemed nice enough-"  
  
"Never mind... Look, you stay here, make sure the fire department gets here and see if anyone's injured." Lex said heading back into the building.  
  
"Wait sir! I'll go in and get her," The guard said quickly.  
  
"No, I will. I don't think I pay you enough to run into burning buildings for me," Lex said, disappearing into the smoking building.  
  
He was risking his life to save a florist. He was officially insane. What were the chances of having two Luthor funerals in one weekend?  
  
"Hey? Are you in here?" He asked, coughing and stumbling down the hallway, his eyes stinging because of the smoke.  
  
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Please review? I'm glad you guys find this fic amusing : ) 


	4. Saving Private Sullivan

Chapter 4: Saving Private Sullivan  
  
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Chloe slid off her gas mask, stunned at the information she held in her hands.  
  
Meanwhile, Lex was still searching the mansion. He was sure he was going to die, and for what? A florist? There were only a couple of rooms left, though he could barely see into them anyway. Lex burst into his office, he could just make out a young girl hunched over his desk. He wasn't sure whether or not she was hurt but he wasn't going to take any chances. There was a dense cloud of smoke hovering above him as he went to grab the her.  
  
Chloe shrieked in surprise as somebody's arms wrapped their arms around her waist from behind.  
  
'What the hell do you think you're doing?' She screeched, feeling herself being hauled away.  
  
'I'm rescuing you!' Lex yelled, his blood racing, 'What does it look like I'm doing?'  
  
Lex half dragged, and half carried the squirming girl out the office. He looked towards their exit and swore.  
  
'There's too much smoke we're going to have to go out the back.' he informed, still holding onto the girl.  
  
'Look, you really don't have to do the whole GI Joe thing, the situation isn't that...' Chloe began coughing; maybe she shouldn't have used so much of that chemical stuff. This smoke screen was so dense that they made her eyes burn.  
  
Lex ran towards the door, slamming it open with his shoulder. The force of impact sent them both sprawling onto the damp grass outside. He caught his breath and for the first time he turned to the young woman.  
  
"Chloe?!" he cried incredulous.  
  
"We went through this before, it's Miss Sullivan to you..." She trailed off, lying down on her back, breathing hard. Maybe if Lex thought she was dying he wouldn't sue her.. this wasn't how the plan was supposed to go.  
  
Lex stared at her for what seemed like an eternity before pulling himself off the ground. "You have a lot of explaining to do Miss Sullivan."  
  
He helped her off the ground and paused, waiting for a decent explanation. If there was one thing he hated it was being lied to.  
  
Chloe groaned inwardly. She couldn't believe she'd gotten caught.. there was no way out now except the truth. Well, most of the truth. She quickly recounted the events that had transpired, outlining the story for him  
  
"I don't know whether to congratulate you for executing such a devious plan or to have you arrested..." Lex smirked. No damage was done but she couldn't be allowed to breath a word of this to anyone. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.  
  
"False alarm. Tell everyone it's safe to go back outside and whatever you do, make sure the police and their cavalry don't set foot in the mansion," Lex said to his security guard.  
  
"Now I must ask about this operation of yours, how exactly did you get the tools to pull it off?" he asked. He'd had no clue that the girl was so resourceful.  
  
"Well I borrowed the gas mask from Pete's mother, she uses it when she sprays her plants with pesticides. The gas bombs were state of the art. I made them in chemistry, it's quite interesting. First you take cans of hairspray and empty them, then you mix- well, you probably don't want to hear the details," Chloe stated.  
  
"I'm impressed Sullivan. I underestimated you, but rest assured that I will never make that mistake again." Lex smirked, "Now since my home *isn't* on fire why don't we go back inside and you can't tell me the truth about what you saw in my office?" he asked, motioning back to the door.  
  
"Sure," Chloe said brushing past him and heading inside. "I have nothing to hide."  
  
The two made their way back through the haze of smoke that was left. Chloe sat down while Lex opened a couple of windows. He returned to his seat and leaned over his desk, staring at the girl hard, just waiting for her to crack. She didn't.  
  
"What? Do I have grass on my face?" Chloe asked, breaking the silence.  
  
Lex groaned. "You have absolutely no idea how important this is, do you? Do you realize that you're the only one other than my father's lawyer who knows about this..." he trailed off, breaking the intense eye contact with her.  
  
"It's a twisted game Lionel's playing with you." Chloe stated, "..but it can't be that bad. You have an entire week to find a bride."  
  
"Not that bad...? How the hell can I find someone to marry me within seven days?!" he yelled.  
  
"Lex... you're worth billions. Grab any brunette slut you can find, promise her a life of luxury for one year after which you get a divorce. Brunette slut girl is happy and you inherit your fortune." Chloe stated mildly.  
  
Lex couldn't believe he was discussing this with Chloe, a reporter, but he didn't have anyone else. and he'd make sure she never printed anything. "It's not that simple I-"  
  
Lex stopped as there was a sudden burst of wetness from above him. The sprinkler system.  
  
Chloe laughed, "Well it's about time those things kicked in..." she stated.  
  
Lex groaned as his entire office was soaked, then yelled out his door, "Will somebody please switch off the damn water! You think I pay you people enough to do that for me!" he barked.  
  
"Breathe Lex, you're going to give yourself a heart condition." Chloe said seeing his scowl.  
  
"Thanks for your concern," he said as his white shirt became drenched. "I risk my life for you by running into what I thought was a burning building and this is the thanks I get? You know that Italian leather on my couch will never be the same again."  
  
Chloe diverted her gaze from the man's very visible chest and unsuccessfully shielded her hair from the water," We should get out of here." she said getting up and heading for the door.  
  
"We're not going anywhere until you tell me exactly what you plan to do with that information." Lex said quickly stepping in her path and blocking the doorway.  
  
"Well probably nothing seeing as how I'll die of pneumonia before I get out of this building." she snapped, refusing to be intimidated.  
  
Chloe watched as tiny rivers of water fell down Lex's face and she released a frustrated sigh. Suddenly her cell phone began ringing and she rolled her eyes. Of course she'd go on an undercover mission and still leave her phone on.  
  
"Chloe? Where are you?" came Gabe's concerned voice.  
  
"I... I... " Chloe started.  
  
"Thank God!" Lex stated as the shower of water ceased.  
  
"Who's voice was that? Young lady you better tell me where you are right now!" he said, shifting into concerned parent mode.  
  
Chloe covered the mouthpiece of the phone, "Thanks a lot," she hissed venomously.  
  
"Chloe? Did I or did I not hear Lex's voice?" came Gabe's question.  
  
"N-no dad... that wasn't Lex... it was this old lady who er... lost her cat, and- hey!" she yelled as Lex swiftly stole the phone from her. She was digging her own grave and he couldn't stand by and watch anymore.  
  
"Gabe, I'm putting you on the speaker," Lex said, hooking Chloe's cell phone to his home phone, "Now there was a minor... accident at the mansion- "  
  
"Oh my God, is Chloe alright?" Gabe asked with concern.  
  
"I'm fine Dad," Chloe reassured him.  
  
"It was all a false alarm, Gabe. The heating system malfunctioned and there was a lot of smoke." Lex lied smoothly. "Chloe mentioned earlier that she was working on a report involving Smallville economy, and I told her to stop by if she needed another opinion, that's why she was here," he continued.  
  
"Well, I'm certain you have enough on your mind without Chloe talking your ear off." Gabe said pointedly.  
  
Lex smiled widely at Chloe's indignant expression. He was enjoying this way too much.  
  
"Well actually Gabe, Miss Sullivan and I never got to have that discussion. We would like to continue it... preferably over dinner." Lex ended, glancing at Chloe. He had to find out exactly what she knew about the will, and make sure she didn't breathe a word about it to anyone.  
  
"That's a great idea. I need to submit that report with my application to Met U, so I need all the help I can get..." she replied. This was great, and exclusive interview with a Luthor and all she had to do was pretend to set his house on fire.  
  
Lex waited for Gabe's approval, but the man was in a silent confusion. With a smirk at Chloe, Lex sat down on the edge of his desk and leaned towards the phone.  
  
"It's not a date, Gabe. Just a discussion to help Chloe out." Lex stated looking directly at Gabe's daughter.  
  
"Yeah dad... don't worry about it. I have my pepper spray if he tries anything." Chloe stated, matching the man's gaze.  
  
"Well... I guess it's okay..." Gabe said slowly. "Of course it's not a date, I mean what do the two of you have in common?" he laughed.  
  
The three way conversation continued, and Lex agreed to pick Chloe up at seven so that they had plenty of time to discuss the 'report'.  
  
As Gabe hung up the phone he couldn't help but wonder about what he'd said about Lex and Chloe not having anything in common.  
  
"Now that's not entirely true..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"A report on Smallville's economy?" Chloe rolled her eyes as Lex handed her back her cell phone, "Now that has to be the shortest report ever written,"  
  
"Yeah.. it's about as short as that report on 'Way's to make Chloe Sullivan smile,' I believe it's about three lines long," Lex smirked.  
  
"Oh, but the list of people who would want to marry you would be the shortest."  
  
"Don't remind me. I only have six days left."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*  
  
Thanks for reviewing! 


	5. Lex the Hacker

Chapter 5: Lex the Hacker  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
There was a rude honk outside the house and Chloe rolled her eyes. With a fleeting goodbye to her father she grabbed her bag and headed out the door.  
  
"Nice work Lex, do you treat all woman this way?" Chloe asked as she clambered into his Porsche. The scent of the plush leather seat almost made up for his lack of charm.  
  
"No, not all woman. Just the ones who impersonate florists to gain access to my home, then plant smoke bombs to create a diversion in order to read my *dead* fathers last will and testament."  
  
"Well I'm sure the rest of the female population finds you irresistible." The girl said dryly.  
  
"We're not on a date Chloe, if we were then you'd be seeing a very different side of me. I'll go as far as to say you look nice, don't expect anything more."  
  
Chloe looked down at her black pants and light blue sleeveless top, "Wow, Lex Luthor thinks I look nice, I can't wait to go home and write this in my diary." Chloe's voice dripped with sarcasm. She glanced at Lex's casual tan suit, but didn't bother commenting about it. No use in inflating the man's ego further.  
  
Lex let out a sigh, "Can we be civil for an evening? Besides, I lied to Gabe for you, you owe me."  
  
"Fine, I guess I'm sorry." She said breezily.  
  
"I accept your heartfelt apology." Lex added.  
  
Chloe hit him on the shoulder, releasing a laugh from the man. "Why are you so defensive?"  
  
"Why are you so antagonizing?"  
  
"What can I say? You bring out the worst in me Luthor. So anyway are you going to tell me where we're going?"  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
"Ah.. a common phrase of the axe murderer,"  
  
"I'm not going to hack you to death Chloe. I'd never be able to get the stain out of my car. Besides, I'd have nobody to have a little competitive banter with."  
  
"Yeah, I'm not that talkative when I'm dead,"  
  
The two continued their harmless banter as they sped out of Smallville. There was the occasional argument about radio stations, toupees and politics, but for the most part the ride went smoothly.  
  
"We're here." Lex said, pulling off the road and parking the car.  
  
Chloe stepped out of the vehicle, the strong scent of the countryside hitting her, and she almost fell over in surprise when she saw where they were.  
  
Lex smirked, happy that he'd caught her off guard. "What do you think Sullivan?"  
  
"I guess it's nice.. for a cow farmer," she added, glancing up at the pink neon lights that spelled 'Terry's Diner'. She remembered this place, it was just out of the limits of Metropolis; she and her father made a pit stop here on their drive to Smallville.  
  
"I didn't know you judged so quickly by outer appearance..?" Lex said smoothly.  
  
"Oh, it's not just the cheesy atmosphere, I was at this place a couple of years ago and from what I remember I had food poisoning during my first week in Smallville." Chloe groaned. She wasn't sure what Lex was trying to prove by bringing her here.  
  
"Don't worry, this place is under new management!"  
  
"Who? You?"  
  
"No. Jerry's brother, Terry. Didn't you notice the new sign?"  
  
"Well, no. My eyes tend to look away from blinding neon pink lights."  
  
"Don't tell me you don't find this place.. quaint?"  
  
"Of course I do, but so do serial killers. I'm sure they filmed a scene from a slasher movie in this place. An innocent and naïve young girl charmed into the car of a manipulative older man who-"  
  
"Chloe you are not innocent. It's more like the evil young woman who lured the unsuspecting billionaire into a vicious game of blackmail and-"  
  
"Can we go in now? It's cold."  
  
"Fine Sullivan, I just wanted to prove a point." Lex stated, motioning for her to follow him.  
  
"What? That you have no good taste?" she laughed as they headed for the diner  
  
"No... that you can't predict my every move." he said arrogantly.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I predict that within the next ten seconds that smirk will be replaced by shock." commented Chloe.  
  
"Really? Now what makes you think-" Lex paused as he felt a squelching sound beneath his shoe and swore loudly.  
  
Chloe tried unsuccessfully to contain her laughter.  
  
"Shit..." Lex stated.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I took the liberty of ordering for you," Chloe said as Lex made his way out of the washroom.  
  
The young man was thoroughly humiliated with the incident. He was certain that Chloe would never look at him the same way.  
  
"Hey, did you wipe the cow crap off your shoe?!" Chloe asked in a surprisingly loud and clear voice.  
  
"Very tactful, Chloe. If you mention this again I'll sue you and you'll spend the rest of you life sharing soap with thirty other inmates in a funny smelling cell..." Lex stated coolly, taking a seat next to her, "Chicken sandwich. Interesting."  
  
"I know, the waiter even said it was real chicken, free range and everything," Chloe informed him.  
  
"That's wonderful. I love it when they give my food a taste of freedom before slaughtering it, hacking it up into tiny pieces and putting it on a plate,"  
  
"It does make you feel better about eating them, doesn't it?" Chloe asked thoughtfully.  
  
Lex smiled then attacked his food with a fork, studying it intently.  
  
"I think it's dead now Lex,"  
  
"Good, I was just checking," he said before picking it up and munching on it.  
  
"What? I'm hungry." he stated when Chloe gave him a look.  
  
"You're not what I expected Lex Luthor," she said shaking her head.  
  
"I'm glad. Now, I have to ask you to turn off your tape recorder in your bag before we continue this conversation further." he said, sipping his coke.  
  
Chloe was taken by surprise and let out a frustrated grunt before taking out the tape recorder and switching it off.  
  
Lex gave himself a smug smile, glad that his assumption had been correct.  
  
"I know you better than you think Sullivan." Lex stated, finishing off his sandwich and ordering another one.  
  
Chloe controlled her temper. Damn Lex and his superior attitude.  
  
"As you said before, this isn't a date so can we stop the small talk and get down to business... I really don't want to stay here with you longer than I have to." she said icily.  
  
"Ouch... do you want the knife back or shall I just leave it in my heart?" Lex asked, gripping his chest.  
  
"Leave it there... maybe it'll start rusting and you'll be poisoned." Chloe said coolly. "Now who are you planning to wed?"  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow... the girl did not believe in beating around the bush.  
  
"I don't have a lot of options Chloe," he sighed, digging into his second sandwich.  
  
The girl released an easy laugh, "What do you mean? You're smart, interesting to talk to, good looking-"  
  
Chloe stopped when she saw the delighted expression on Lex's face.  
  
"...I mean if you're into the whole bald-and-old thing." She added quickly.  
  
"You wound me Miss Sullivan." Lex said, his eyes playing with hers.  
  
"Yeah, pity I can't make a career out of it. You know, if you still can't find someone to marry you, you can always get one of those mail order brides." she ended.  
  
"Hell no. How would I stand to live with one for a year? I have to find someone I can trust because while we're married she'll own half of LexCorp... that's what the contract requires."  
  
"Well... look, let me go off the record and help you out? I doubt you want to tell anyone else about this, and since I already know..."  
  
"I see then once I've chosen a bride you can write all about the soulless Luthor who married to preserve his fortune," Lex said bitterly, knowing that Chloe didn't realize the number of jobs that would also be lost.  
  
"Oh no... I was going for the whole prince charming finding a bride and making her dreams come true thing. I wouldn't write negative articles on purpose," Chloe explained.  
  
Lex was quite surprised, but didn't let it show.  
  
"I'll make you a deal Sullivan," Lex began, "Do not tell anyone about the documents you read in my office and I... will agree not to fire your father, sue you or make certain that you never become a reporter," Lex ended.  
  
Chloe met his eyes then leaned back in her seat. With a smirk she picked up her tape recorder and held it up to her lips.  
  
"Thank you Mr. Luthor, I'm sure the readers of The Daily Planet will be interested in what you're little threat to the innocent young woman, "she said hitting the stop button.  
  
Lex groaned when he realized that Chloe had hit the record button when she'd taken the recorder out of her bag. Outsmarted by an eighteen year old... how very embarrassing.  
  
"Chloe... what's it going to take to get you to drop this story for good?"  
  
"hmmmm... well Lex, the truth is that this story *will* seep out eventually... now do you want it written by a friend or an enemy?"  
  
"You, Chloe Sullivan are neither my friend nor my enemy... get to the point,"  
  
"I want full coverage of the story in a year after the two of you get divorced, and I want one exclusive interview every six moths for as long as I'm a reporter."  
  
"Make it every two years."  
  
"One."  
  
"Done. You drive a hard bargain Sullivan," Lex said leaning back in his seat, happy with the arrangement.  
  
"I do my best Luthor. I guess we should get going, it's getting late, and I need to start packing for Met U." Chloe stated, getting up and slipping her bag over her shoulder.  
  
"Not so fast Sullivan," Lex smirked snatching the bag away from her.  
  
"Hey!" Chloe snapped. " Give that back!"  
  
Lex smiled and held the bag high above her head and took out the small tape. He tossed it to the floor and stepped on it.  
  
Chloe let out a soft, high-pitched gasp at the crushing sound.  
  
"You killed my tape..."  
  
"Oh... did I destroy the little reporter's evidence? I'm so sorry..." Lex said in mock sympathy.  
  
"Have I mentioned how much I hate you?" Chloe snapped.  
  
"Several times today in fact," commented Lex, tossing the bag back to Chloe.  
  
"Well... just in case you didn't hear me, I despise you Lex," she stated.  
  
"I'd really like to go over our love hate relationship, but I do believe you have a bill to pay," he said glancing at the cash register.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me?" Chloe said rolling her eyes.  
  
"On the contrary, since you've put me through hell for the past few days, I think it's the least you can do . I'll wait for you in the car." Lex said, whistling as he walked out the door.  
  
"Did you have a nice time young lady?" the older woman smiled as Chloe handed her some bills from her bag.  
  
"Oh yeah.. he's a catch all right."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Please Review? 


	6. Chloe the Arsonist

Chapter 6: Chloe the Arsonist  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"No really, I'm a friend of his," Chloe explained for what seemed like the hundredth time.  
  
The young girl stood outside one of the most exclusive jewelry stores in Metropolis, the brisk wind whipping her hair around her face wildly. Of course Lex would ask her to help him ring shop and then forget to tell the store's manager about her. Chloe sighed, thinking about Lex's bizarre life. The guy had finally found himself a bride, three days before the due date no less. Now all he had to do was propose to whoever it was and this whole thing would be over with. Unfortunately the man who had it all was apparently lost when it came to tasteful jewelry.  
  
"Just go in let me in and I can show you that I really do know him," Chloe tried again.  
  
The woman looked down at the girl's colorfully patched jacket and black streaked hair with distaste. With a frown she shook her head, her perfectly sculpted raven hair swinging side to side.  
  
"Mr. Luthor didn't mention having company," she stated firmly.  
  
"Yeah well Lex has a lot on his mind, so at the moment he's not the sharpest pencil in the box." Chloe sighed.  
  
The woman let out a Lana-like gasp at Chloe's informal attitude. "I don't think I can help you... why don't you try the jewelry store at the mall?" the lady said as she began closing the door.  
  
"Hey! I drove all the way here from Crapville. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
Chloe maneuvered her way through the gap in the doorway, into the lavish store. Many of Metropolis's elite were wandering around, sipping their champagne and gazing at fine jewelry.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?! Please leave before I call security!" the woman's shrill voice called, extremely agitated.  
  
Chloe turned around, rolling her eyes, "Give me a break, you wouldn't actually-"  
  
"SECURITY!!!"  
  
Chloe jumped as somebody gripped her upper arm.  
  
"Is this girl the causing a scene miss Vivian?" a man asked. The woman nodded.  
  
"Please do your job and get rid of her. We can't have her approaching our customers, especially Mr. Luthor." Vivian stated.  
  
"Well, won't Lex be thrilled when he hears he's your favorite," Chloe said sarcastically, struggling against the guard.  
  
"Come quietly and maybe there won't be any charges," a large security guard said to her.  
  
"Let go of me you corrupt government minion!" Chloe snapped as the guard pulled her away. Her reflex reaction caused her elbow to jerk backwards directly into the man's stomach. She attempted to get away but instead, was rudely knocked to the ground.  
  
"Suspicious character apprehended," the man said into an earpiece, holding her face down.  
  
"This is ridiculous! I haven't done anything!" Chloe protested, pinned on the floor, the guard's arm on her back. "All I wanted to do was look at the stupid jewelry, not set fire to the building!"  
  
The security guard's eyes widened in horror.  
  
"Backup! I need backup! A threat has been made on the building, we need to evacuate immediately," he said, pulling out his handcuffs and securing them around Chloe's wrists with a click.  
  
"This is absurd! You people are such idiotic hypocrites, this establishment's practices goes against everything this country-"  
  
"Sullivan?!" came a surprised question.  
  
Chloe's eyes that were still at ground level saw a pair of black Italian shoes facing her.  
  
"I'd recognize those cow crap shoes anywhere. Where the hell have you been Lex Luthor? First these morons wouldn't let me in, and then they accused me of arson. Was it the jacket...? Forgive me, I never knew it screamed arsonist! I guess it makes sense though, I mean I *did* buy it when I was going through my Lana-is-my-sister phase, which was almost as bad as my let's-apologize-to-Clark-for-things-I-never-did phase not that I have issues or anything.. and will someone please do something about the large man who is trying to break my arm?"  
  
"You moron, get off her!" Lex snapped at the guard, who immediately stepped up and backed away from Chloe.  
  
"You know her Mr. Luthor?" Vivian gasped.  
  
Lex didn't bother answering the woman, and lightly held onto Chloe's waist as he awkwardly helped her up.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.  
  
"Yeah sure, never better." she said bluntly, trying to cover up her heated uneasiness at having Lex's hands against her, especially since her own were confined behind her back. Lex sensed this and quickly withdrew his hands with a small smile.  
  
"Keys." Lex stated, before the guard fished out his keys and handed them to Lex.  
  
Lex unlocked her cuffs and handed them back to the guard.  
  
"Hey, give those back," Chloe said, snatching the cuffs back and inspecting them, "These are awesome."  
  
"You're not keeping the cuffs Sullivan" Lex said with a smirk. "I won't dare ask what you need them for. Besides we need to sue these people, maybe even take down the company, wouldn't you like that better?" he smiled.  
  
"Mr. Luthor I-" Vivian began, but was silenced by a glare from the man.  
  
"Very chivalrous, Lex but quite unnecessary. I'll tell you what..." Chloe said to Vivian.  
  
"Let me keep the cuffs and we'll call it quits?"  
  
"That's fine with me... " the guard said as he cancelled the backup call and apologized to Chloe before making a quick exit.  
  
"Oh, that's a wonderful idea. I'll even give you a free gift bag," Vivian smiled.  
  
Lex looked at Chloe strangely and smiled. "I'm going to ask you about those cuffs for later, right now I think we should get you home and-"  
  
"Relax Lex, I'm fine. We came here to find you a ring and that's what I intend to do.  
  
Lex laughed, "Whatever you say, but we'll be going to a different store... and this time try not to get arrested Sullivan?" he asked patronizingly slow.  
  
Chloe rolled her eyes, "Fine, I'll be at my car." she said turning to leave, still fascinated be the cuffs.  
  
"I'll be there in a second," Lex said, watching Chloe leave. He couldn't believe she'd almost been arrested and still managed to keep a souvenir. Lex turned back to Vivian with a shake of his head.  
  
"Miss Sullivan may be in a forgiving mood, but I assure you that I am not."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hmm... call this a filler chapter. I'm building up to the part where Lex takes Chloe for the *real* ring shopping then announces who he intends to marry, then ... well, I won't tell you the entire thing just yet, lol. 


	7. The Art of Bedroom Judo

Chapter 7: The Art of Bedroom Judo  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"How about this one?" Lex asked holding the sparkling ring up to Chloe.  
  
"Please, you can't even see the diamonds," Chloe said looking at the piece of jewelry with a tiny magnified eyepiece.  
  
The two of them were at yet another pricey jewelry store in Metropolis. The manager had personally come out to show them the collection, but so far nothing had really appealed to Chloe's eye.  
  
"There are hundreds of diamonds on this one," Lex retorted, they're just all really tiny. It's a French piece... eighteenth centaury."  
  
"So you're telling me it's old?" Chloe asked.  
  
"I'm starting to think that nothing will satisfy you Sullivan." Lex said, tossing the ring back on the counter. "What was wrong with that other one two stores ago with the giant heart shaped ruby?"  
  
"Well sure, that would have worked... if you were proposing to a middle aged truck driver named Steve." Chloe stated.  
  
"Ugh! Remind me never to shop with you! My feet hurt so much you might have to carry me to the car," he countered.  
  
"Might I remind you that you were the one who dragged me here to help. If my dad knew I was here he'd freak out." Chloe said fluidly, discarding a few more rings.  
  
"Might *I*remind you that I sent Gabe to a two week convention in Singapore so that I could enlist your help." Lex said wondering if the next piece of jewelry would please Chloe... he'd learned that very few things could satisfy her taste.  
  
"I'm sure you know plenty of people who's advice you value more than mine." Chloe laughed gazing through the glistening display cabinets critically.  
  
"Well that's true... but I need a woman's opinion and you're the only woman I know who I haven't slept with then never called." Lex explained slowly.  
  
"Wow, and here I was thinking we were friends." the girl rolled her eyes.  
  
"I don't consider us friends. I just like whatever it is we are right now," Lex explained as an employee appeared with a tray of champagne.  
  
"Thank you..." he said taking two glasses and offering one to Chloe. He saw her hesitation and smiled.  
  
"I won't tell if you don't Sullivan..."  
  
"You know I have had champagne before," Chloe commented, picking up the glass and emptying the contents in a single gulp. She caught the fleeting expression of surprise on Lex's face that was quickly replaced with a smile.  
  
Chloe had just handed the glass back to the shocked employee when her eyes fell upon the a stunning ring.  
  
Lex almost choked on his champagne as he heard the girl release a moan unlike any other he'd ever heard.  
  
"Lex it's perfect..." Chloe's voice faded away as she gazed at the beautiful ring behind the display case.  
  
"I see you have an excellent eye for quality madam," the manager said with a grin, unlocking the glass display.  
  
Lex glanced at the jewel, wishing Chloe would stop making those distracting sounds of delight.  
  
"I'm certain this will satisfy your lady friend Mr. Luthor." the manager said, "This is in fact one of our most unique piece. We imported it from India two weeks ago. We call it the morning star, it's one of a kind. See this centerpiece? It's a diamond shaped like a star, you can tell the quality by the way it glitters in the light. The diamond is set in white gold and the remainder of the ring is yellow gold with two delicate rows of silver lining the outside," the man paused when he saw the girl's eye's transfixed on the ring.  
  
"Would you like to try it on Miss?" the man asked, gently taking a hold of Chloe's right hand and slipping the priceless jewel onto her ring finger.  
  
"Oh, it's not for... niiiiiice..." Chloe said, parting her lips in awe. She quickly removed it when she saw the smirk on Lex's face.  
  
"Yeah well, I suppose it will do," she said quickly, covering up her fascination and returning the ring.  
  
"Then we'll take it." Lex smiled, glad that the hours of searching had paid off.  
  
"Hold on a second... how much is it?" Chloe asked warily, giving the ring back.  
  
Lex laughed. "It hardly matters Sullivan," but he let the manager reveal the number anyway.  
  
Chloe almost passed out when she'd heard the price.  
  
"What the hell? Does the ring bring world peace too? Because I can't imagine what else could make it cost so much." Chloe said to the visibly flustered manager.  
  
"The price is fine. We'll take it, it's exactly what we need and-" Lex stopped when Chloe grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and dragged him to a corner of the store.  
  
"Sullivan, is there a problem?" Lex asked, quite amused by her behavior.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Chloe hissed, "That ring costs about as much as an island in the Pacific!"  
  
"Oh, I went through the Pacific Island phase, but Greenpeace gave me hell- wasn't worth it," he smirked.  
  
"Lex I'm serious. Look, you're not even going to love this woman, why are you willing to spend so much on her? I mean you're a Luthor, she won't care whether the ring costs five thousand or fifty thousand dollars." Chloe said in a breath.  
  
Lex wore a confused smile and leaned in closer to Chloe.  
  
"This is really upsetting you, isn't it?" he asked.  
  
"I-I don't know what you mean," Chloe stated, backing away. "You asked for my opinion so here it is: if you're going to buy something that expensive you better make *damn* sure that she's the one. Since you have only three days left I doubt you'll find her." the girl snapped, the waited for Lex's response.  
  
"Okay." Lex said, "We'll get the French one instead."  
  
"Wow," Chloe said after a pause, amazed that the man had taken her advice.  
  
Lex laughed at her expression as they headed back to the manager. "You've got a point Sullivan. I haven't even proposed to her yet, for all I know she could yell at me and hurl the ring at my face. If I had a choice I would want her throwing the one with the smaller diamonds, at least then I the doctors might have a chance of saving an eye or something."  
  
"Well do you know who you're going to ask?" Chloe asked curiously.  
  
"Yep. It's between Mercedes, Cassidy and Sylvia." Lex said, catching the disgusted look on Chloe's face.  
  
"Oh my God are you sure they'll take the time off their strawberry-flavored glitter lipstick commercials to marry you?" the girl asked.  
  
"Hey, they're not models! Okay... they're not *all* models. I think Mercedes finished high school." Lex said trying hard to remember.  
  
"Well I guess you won't have to worry about having marital disputes, because they probably couldn't hold an actual conversation anyway," Chloe said with a shake of her head.  
  
"Good point. I don't recall doing much talking when I was with them."  
  
"Eeeeww."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Bad mental image,"  
  
"Of what?"  
  
"You and three airheads together."  
  
"Oh really? What were they wearing?"  
  
"Hey, get your own bad mental image and let me forget mine!"  
  
"Have you come to a decision?" asked the manager, suddenly appearing before them wearing a huge smile.  
  
"We'll take the old French ring." Lex said, giving Chloe a smiling glance.  
  
"Excellent choice sir. Please follow me and we can get that check signed?." the manager said smoothly.  
  
"I'll be back in a second," Lex said to Chloe, touching her arm lightly.  
  
"Don't forget to ask for a discount." Chloe called after him, "...and for a coupon, you know, buy one ring and get the other half price?"  
  
"I'll be sure to do that," Lex called over his shoulder.  
  
Chloe smiled and took a seat on the plush couch at the front of the store. She was glad that she had come. This was the first time she'd ever spent time with Lex without drilling him for information about LexCorp or his choice of coffee.  
  
The girl glanced across the room she saw something out the corner of her eye. It was a necklace. Very unique. It had delicate threads of silver and gold intertwined and there was a beautiful teardrop shaped pendant with a gem that changed shades of green. Curiosity got the better of her and she went over to study it.  
  
"Would you like to have a closer look young lady?" an older woman saleswoman asked, appearing in front of Chloe and picking up the necklace.  
  
Chloe laughed and shook her head, "Oh no, I can't, I wouldn't even be able to afford the clasp I'm here with- ooooh, shiny. " Chloe grinned as the woman put it around her neck.  
  
"You look beautiful my dear," the lady smiled, holding up a mirror for her, "Your eyes complement the color of the gem."  
  
"I believe it's the gem that contemplates her eyes..." a low voice corrected.  
  
Chloe whipped around and saw Lex standing there watching her with interest.  
  
"I'll be right over here if you need any help," the older woman said, walking off with a knowing smile.  
  
"I-I was just looking at it," Chloe said, thoroughly embarrassed that she'd been caught gazing at the piece of jewelry. She lifted her arms around the back of her neck to remove the necklace.  
  
"Don't," Lex said. His usual smirk was gone for a change. Chloe put her hands back down and held her breath as Lex ran a finger over the outline of the piece across her neck.  
  
"It really does look beautiful..." he continued softly. "I want you to keep it."  
  
Chloe managed to suppress the blush that was crawling through her body and snapped out of the vivid fantasy involving Lex and her handcuffs.  
  
"I don't think so Lex, it wasn't meant for me. It was meant for someone who goes to snazzy upscale parties and blows their noses in twenty-dollar bills. Besides, we came here for a ring, nothing else." Chloe stated removing the necklace and replacing it on the counter.  
  
"Firstly, those 'upscale party people' are all morons. I've slept with enough of them to know that for a fact-"  
  
"Yeah, well if they slept with you then they must be morons." Chloe said, then paused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."  
  
Lex laughed, "Yes you did. I have my faults Sullivan- I'm not going to deny it, but when it comes to bedroom judo I know my way around,"  
  
The girl immediately broke eye contact with him and looked out the door. "Uh... I guess we should go since we have everything," she said quickly.  
  
"Not quite. I want to get you that necklace... for helping me today," Lex stated adamantly.  
  
"It was my pleasure, I really had a great time giving those store employees hell, you don't need to thank me," Chloe laughed.  
  
"Sullivan, stop being so stubborn and accept the gift, it was presumed that I'd get you one anyway."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Don't tell me you weren't expecting something for yourself when a millionaire businessman asked you to help him ring shop for his future wife at several of Metropolis's most exclusive stores..." Lex laughed, but stopped when he saw the horrified yet angry expression on Chloe's face. He realized that he'd made a mistake.  
  
"Of all the egotistical... arhg! Luthor I can't believe what you just said. You can't just buy my friendship whenever you need it. I was here because you have no taste in jewelry and needed some help. Never once did I *presume* you were going to get me something in return." Chloe hissed then turned to leave. All she felt for the man right now was blind rage. The nerve of him... to think she wanted some sort of payoff.  
  
Lex watched the Chloe bomb blow up like it was in slow motion. She'd gone from hot to cold in less under five seconds. That must be some sort of a record.  
  
"I'm sorry Chloe, I thought-"  
  
"Well you thought wrong," she said icily.  
  
Chloe retrieved her jacket and burst through the doors of the store, closely followed by a confused Lex.  
  
"Will you just stop for a second and listen to me? Why are you being so stubborn? I said I was sorry, what more do you want?" he asked, holding onto her wrist and preventing her from getting into her car.  
  
"I want you to realize that I'm not one of those intellectually challenged women you surround yourself with, who are in constant need of your monetary validation!" Chloe yelled, kicking him decisively in the ankle before escaping into her car.  
  
"Ouch!!" Lex said, shaking away the pain, "Dammit, Sullivan, I didn't even understand that sentence!" Lex yelled as the girl sped off in her red convertible.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Please review ^__^  
  
I'm pissed of with my comp right now because I wrote a few more chapters to this fic and it got deleted. Computers should just automatically save stuff *for* you! I mean who remembers to hit the save button these days? 


	8. Mercedes, Eric and Frodo

Chapter 8: Mercedes, Eric and Frodo  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Sullivan, this is ridiculous! Your cell phone's dead and I've left you about five hundred messages on your stupid answering machine at home but you still haven't called me back. I've apologized to you more times today than I have to *anyone* in my entire life! I actually had my secretary call your home every five minutes for the past hour. I think she's having a nervous break down. I'd drive to Smallville and yell at you, but if you weren't aware of it, I'm getting married today! Curious about who she is, aren't you...? Well if you bothered to CALL me then I might tell you. Are you mad enough to miss me pledge my eternal love to a woman who I don't even like? I contemplated inviting Clark but he's still mad at me about... uh... I can't really remember what he was mad about, he gets really defensive. If he were a woman I'd blame it on PMS, but he has no excuse. I guess I should go get prepared for the wedding...you better be there Sullivan..."  
  
Lex hung up the phone and spun around in his chair to look out the window. For some reason it was annoying the hell out of him that he and Chloe had spoken to each other since yesterday's stupid necklace incident. Thanks to her he'd had his ego and his ankle bruised in the same day and he wasn't handling it very well. He'd never had a woman stay this mad at him for so long for trying to buy her an expensive gift...Just then the phone rang.  
  
"Chloe?"  
  
"No, Alex... it's Mercedes... the woman you're marrying in five hours?"  
  
"Oh, right, sorry. I'm still trying to figure the world of caller ID."  
  
"Who's Chloe?"  
  
"Uh, that would be my lawyer... Chloetsky. He's Russian."  
  
"Chloetsky? Okay... I take it you're tying up the ends of our agreement?"  
  
"That would be accurate."  
  
"That's great! It's not very often a millionaire proposes and then offers to throw me the wedding of my dreams."  
  
"What can I say, I'm a nice guy. Not to mention of course that I needed to find someone I could trust with half my fortune for a year."  
  
"Well, I'm glad you had the sense to propose to me first. You know I'd never betray you, I'm not dumb enough to want you as an enemy. Anyway, I'm e-mailing the wedding invitations because it's all very last minute. I'm sending you one so you can forward it to your guests. Try not to invite too many okay? I have a very large family; they're going to take up most of the space. Oh and do you have any personal preferences for the flowers?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Good. Now I was wondering how to break us up? I know we have a year to decide, but I was thinking that we could get a divorce because you cheated on me? We could stage something on the day of our anniversary, make it very grand and theatrical with lots of yelling?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Okay, now are you still taking care of the limousine?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"That's great. What else? Oh yes- I had to tell you that my cat Foo-Foo will be the official ring bearer. She'll follow me down the aisle and-"  
  
"Your cat? I... don't think that's a good idea you see I'm... allergic to cats! I could fall over and die and then where would we be?"  
  
"Aw... okay, I'll have to break the news to Foo-Foo gently. Now let's talk about the color of your tux? I'm going with an orange theme so I was thinking-"  
  
"Oh, Mercedes, I'm sorry to do this but I have another call coming It's very important so I'll see you at the church later, bye!"  
  
Lex hung up the phone briskly, releasing a sigh of relief. He got up and went over to pour himself a drink. At least he could have a few moments of peace before chaining himself to that woman for a year.  
  
"I can't believe I have to marry her," he mumbled to himself, "I have to wake up every single morning to that annoying voice... but I don't have a choice. Now I'm rhyming... and talking to myself. I'm going insane. I should write a book: how to go from billionaire to mental patient in one year."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chloe skillfully balanced two shopping bags and her purse in one hand and with a grunt, unlocked her front door.  
  
"I'm home! Where's my big boy?" she yelled, dumping the bags on the floor.  
  
The ground vibrated slightly with the sound of running feet. Chloe saw a streak of blonde as a massive golden retriever jumped up at her.  
  
"Ruff!"  
  
"Frodo! How have you been? I'm sorry mommy went away for so long. Some stupid waitress couldn't get my coffee order right." Chloe said in a crooning tone that she only used with her dog while giving his long golden coat a pet. The animal looked up at her with bright brown eyes, wagging his tail around frantically.  
  
"Did anyone call while I was away? Maybe someone with an irritatingly egotistical and arrogant voice?" Chloe asked curiously, going into the livingroom to check her messages. She wasn't *expecting* him to call, but she'd just been thinking about him for the entire day. Not that she cared if he did happen to call... nope... didn't care at all. He'd been a jerk for insulting her like that. Then again she'd been quite surprised when she read in the newspaper about how LexCorp dissolved Vivian's jewelers in one fatal sweep. In some sadistic way it had been rather sweet of him.  
  
Chloe walked into the livingroom and stopped suddenly when she saw the sight before her.  
  
"Bad boy Frodo!" she yelled, when saw the phone and answering machine crunched up into various pieces and scattered around the floor.  
  
"We discussed this before. Under no circumstances are you to eat the telephone! What if it was important?! What if the world had run out of doggy kibble and we never heard about it? Then where would we be?"  
  
"Ruff...?"  
  
"Fine, you're forgiven... so did you destroy eat laptop too or did the phone manage to fill up that colossal hunger of yours?"  
  
"Ruff!"  
  
"I'm glad to here it."  
  
Chloe made her way up to her room, closely followed by Frodo and snapped open the laptop that lay on her desk. She began filtering through the junk mail.  
  
"Save money next time you buy a ferret... Free shipping and handling for your five thousand dollar pencil sharpener... click here to win a trip to Iceland... follow the link to find your soul mate... wedding invitation from Lex... oh, that could be important."  
  
Chloe clicked the message and a lilac pink scroll appeared on the screen with falling hearts. The girl rolled her eyes at the tacky invitation. Getting the cheaper ring for this woman was definitely the right thing to do. She scrolled down to read the message.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of  
  
Alexander Luthor  
  
&  
  
Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch  
  
Guests are asked to arrive at the Metropolis Central Church at 5pm  
  
Private Message  
  
Sullivan!  
  
If you were wondering, I had nothing to do with the design and/or layout of this invitation. That, and everything else in this damn wedding I left to my fiancée. Since you haven't returned any of my calls I assume that you are still angry because I tried to buy you that ruby necklace... most women would have jumped at the chance, but I momentarily for got that you were Chloe Sullivan and are nothing like most woman. Not that I think of you as a man, because I don't. That would just be awkward and disturbing. I have a headache... I think the painkillers I took are disrupting my brain chemistry.  
  
Please come to the wedding?  
  
~Lex  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^ ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^  
  
Chloe sighed and leaned back in her seat. Okay, so maybe she'd overreacted a little yesterday at the ring store, and apparently Lex had apologized to her multiple times. It was a pity Frodo had eaten all the messages. Chloe glanced at the screen again, reading the name below Lex's.  
  
"Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch?" she said distastefully. "If my parents named me that I'd shoot myself."  
  
The girl stared at the invitation for a while before deciding that she needed to go. Firstly, she had to find out more about this woman to whom Lex would be giving away a year of his life. She did a quick search on the internet, but couldn't find anything concrete. Chloe plugged her dead cell phone into the charger and hit the speed dial.  
  
"Ugh... mom, stop calling me... it's too early."  
  
"This isn't your mother, Eric, and it's not early." Chloe stated slowly.  
  
"Chlo! It's good to hear your voice, now why don't you call me back when I'm awake?"  
  
"Wait Eric! This is really, really important. It's about a woman named Mercedes Jennifer Tyler Paris Finch. I need info on her, so get off you butt and help me."  
  
"You know, I can't wait for you to move back to Metropolis- I swear, those people in that cow town ruined you Chloe. Is this how best friends treat each other?"  
  
"You owe me! Remember that time in grade three when you tried to stick a bug up your nose? Who was there to hit you on the head and tell you it was a bad idea?"  
  
"Fine, fine. Gimme a second."  
  
shuffle  
  
"Do you have anything yet?"  
  
"No, I'm still trying to find my pants."  
  
"Thanks for the mental image."  
  
"No problem. Mercedes Finch... Okay here we are. Wow! She's a looker, if I swung that way I'd be turned on right now."  
  
"Swung what way?"  
  
"Uh, never mind. Well, it looks like she fits your standard serial killer bio. Barely graduated from high school in '99... got her degree in make-up and beauty, then launched her own business line called Finch's Beauty."  
  
"Wow, points for originality on the name."  
  
"No kidding."  
  
"I don't understand how she got the funding for that sort of thing?"  
  
"Looks like she just worked her way up. I don't see anything corrupt here, Chlo... she seems like a very sincere airhead."  
  
"Are you sure? No dark past... criminal record... a third eye on her forehead? Nothing?"  
  
"Sorry hun, she one hundred percent- oh wait a second..."  
  
"What? It's the third eye isn't it?"  
  
"Finch isn't her real last name, she had it l legally changed seven years ago. She's Mercedes Guevara."  
  
"You mean one of the Gotham Guevara's?"  
  
"Yep... a distant cousin. She just joined the family business a few years ago; from what I remember they've been trying to break down other industries to build up their own. Last I heard they were after LuthorCorp. Why the sudden fascination with this woman anyway?"  
  
"She's marrying Lex Luthor in a few hours."  
  
"Ah... I should have assumed this would be about your boy Lex."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean? And he's not my boy!"  
  
"You sent me a 5K e-mail describing what an ass he is. It's obvious he's the only thing you can think of."  
  
"Don't be a moron. Now help me figure out what to do!"  
  
"Well... if Miss Guevara marries a Lex then she'd be entrusted with half his shares. She'll obviously use them to bring LuthorCorp down for good, maybe even go after LexCorp? Yep, Mercedes is going to screw Lex- in the bad way I mean. These business people are all lying snakes, you can't trust any of them."  
  
"Hey, Lex isn't like that!"  
  
"Well, maybe not to *you* he isn't. Now you know I love you Chloe, but I have this thing I like to do on Saturdays. It's called sleep."  
  
"You do that. I have to go or else I'll never be there on time."  
  
"Where? On time for what?"  
  
"To crash the wedding!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Please review ^__^  
  
Ha! Take that Microsoft Word! I wrote a whole other chapter and remembered to save it!  
  
*glares at computer*  
  
Anyway, I needed to introduce Frodo (Chloe's doggy) who will end up making Lex's life hell and of course Chloe's gay best friend Eric who hasn't told Chloe about his gayness yet (I needed another character to substitute for Clark and Lana). Mercedes is just occupying space till I get Chloe and Lex alone together in the limousine, but that's another chapter. 


	9. What’s in a Name…?

Chapter 9: What's in a Name.?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lex groaned inwardly, the whole thing was just so wrong, from the orange colored flowers to the orange bow tie he was forced to wear. He hated weddings, especially when they were his own. Unfortunately, here he was, standing with his bride to be in front of a church filled with strangers. Of course the one person who could have made the entire thing a little more bearable wasn't there. Nope, Sullivan had probably realized that hanging around him was never a smart idea. Luthors were arrogant and skeptical, they had trust issues and family issues and hair issues, but for some reason Chloe Sullivan in her blunt and witty way had made it all different. He remembered the last time he'd seen her. The wild hair that blew around and soft lips that snarled at him before she'd driven off in fury. Surely she'd forgiven him by now? His eyes were transfixed on the door, almost willing her to walk through.  
  
"Lex!" an urgent female voice hissed.  
  
"What huh?" the man asked, snapping out of his trance.  
  
"It's your turn." Mercedes said. Her perfectly fashioned dark brown hair was pinned up and her pastel dress billowed about her skinny waist. She reminded Lex of a giant peach.  
  
"Oh, right er..." he trailed off, remembering what to say.  
  
"I do!"  
  
pause  
  
"We're not there yet sir," the preacher explained. "You are to express the vows that you personally wrote to Miss Finch at this time."  
  
Lex swore mentally. He knew he'd forgotten something... well it wasn't a big deal... he just needed to increase the suave and tact. The problem was of course was that he had to make it seem real because his father's lawyer sat in one of the pews- it was his job to confirm the wedding.  
  
"The reasons why I wanted to marry you wrote themselves," Lex began, suddenly relieved that Chloe wasn't there to hear this crap.  
  
"I remember the exact moment I laid eyes on you... your beautiful gold- er... raven hair, your sparkling personality... your smile and of course your-" Lex paused to look at the woman's eyes, trying to figure out what color they were. Was algae a color?  
  
"....your emerald eyes. It was that moment when I knew that we were going to have something special. This all seems like a dream- I'm getting married to such a close friend. I know you better than I have ever known anyone in my entire life, I feel as if we were somehow connected since the very beginning of time... and that is why I, Lex Luthor take you-"  
  
The man stopped suddenly when he anxiously realized that he could not for the life of him recall the woman's name. He had it on the tip of his tongue. she was named after a car. Porsche? Mazda? Marris. Merrie. Mercedes!  
  
"...take you Mercedes to be mine." Lex breathed a sigh of relief before realizing that Mercedes expected him to continue. He groaned inwardly- how long did vows have to be?!  
  
"There's only one person in this room who has changed my life and has given me all the joys of the world. I know that the one and only person I can grow old with... that I can truly pledge my eternal love to is- Chloe!?"  
  
For a second he thought it was his imagination... but that was definitely the small blonde woman, clad in a black skirt and sleeveless red top that just burst into the church.  
  
"Who?" Mercedes demanded confused, then followed Lex's line of sight to the girl who stood at the end of the aisle, looking a little flushed- like she'd been running.  
  
"Stop the wedding!" Chloe stated. A little dramatic on the dramatic side, but she'd always wanted to say that. She raised an eyebrow at the bright orange bow-tie the groom wore, but decided now wasn't the time to comment on it. The retro floral decor though was another story.  
  
"Who threw up of the flowers?" she asked, drawing a shocked gasp from the crowd.  
  
"Orange is in this season! Now who the hell are you?" Mercedes spat, before turning to Lex for an answer. The man looked relieved more than anything else.  
  
"I'm here to tell Lex the truth about you, Miss Guevera." Chloe said snidely.  
  
Insert gasp from crowd  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." Mercedes spat. The minister wore an expression of horror at the scene that was unfolding.  
  
Chloe walked up the aisle to Lex, slamming a folder into his chest, "Read."  
  
Lex wore a puzzled look that turned into frustration then anger when he glanced at through contents of the documents.  
  
"I don't believe this! Are all my private investigators morons?! When I say 'check this person out' I mean tell me if she belongs to a rival company, not what her favorite shade of pink is!" Lex yelled to nobody in particular, flinging the folder to the ground.  
  
"You little... you ruined it!" the Mercedes screeched, lunging for Chloe angrily, but instead managed to trip over Lex's foot which just happened to be in the way.  
  
The woman lay sprawled on the floor, wallowing in her overgrown peach wedding dress and displaying a colorful use of profanity, much to the minister's dismay. Lex cast her a scowl before grabbing Chloe's hand and pulling her down the aisle with him.  
  
"I can't believe this!" he snapped, his anger boiling over. He stormed his way to the white Limousine that was adorned with small read rosebuds- the only thing he'd actually arranged for the wedding.  
  
"Get in," he said, opening the door for Chloe. She complied with his abrupt request and stepped into the vehicle.  
  
"Let's go!" Lex ordered the driver, removing his jacket and tossing it to the other end of the limo.  
  
"Where to sir?" asked the anxious driver, realizing that the groom had left the church with another woman.  
  
"I don't care! Just keep driving- stop and you're fired!" he yelled, shutting the panel between himself and the diver with a rude snap. Lex glanced at the girl who had sunk into the smooth leather seat opposite him.  
  
"You need a paper bag to breathe into or something?" Chloe asked, raising an eyebrow at him.  
  
"No, but if you have a large stick lying around I'd like to beat something with it." Lex muttered.  
  
"I'd look for one but I'm officially worn out. I had to speed over here, then when I got to the church every parking spot had been occupied by one of those expensive German cars so I ended up parking in a handicap zone three blocks away. Then when I got out of the car this meter lady came out of *nowhere* and ambushed me. Luckily I managed to convince her I was blind in my left eye so she let me go with a warning not to leave my guide dog at home, then I ran all the way to the church-"  
  
"I never thanked you." Lex interrupted, Chloe's monologue. "Do you realize what would have happened if you hadn't told me Mercedes was a rotten cheap Guevara? I would have married her and lost my entire fortune when she used my shares against me!"  
  
"Relax Luthor. It's over, you're not getting married to satan anymore. Oh, and I didn't do this all by myself. My friend had access to- well he can get access to anything really." Chloe said thoughtfully.  
  
"For what it's worth, I'm grateful. I won't forget this." Lex said sincerely leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes.  
  
"Chloe. You know I'm not one of those flowery happy people who talk about their *feelings* and shit, but I just can't help thinking that I'm never going to get married at this rate- all I have left is two days. If I fail my father wins and if I succeed I'll be miserable with a woman I don't know for an entire year. It's a hellish situation -"  
  
Lex stopped momentarily as he felt Chloe's arms envelop him in a hug around his shoulders.  
  
"...Sullivan? What are you doing?" Lex asked slowly- suddenly nervous as to how his body was about to respond.  
  
"I'm giving you a platonic hug. This is what people do for each other when one in going through a tough time." She said, her chin resting tentatively on the man's shoulder. He had the most delicate scent of cologne about him that broke down her platonic intentions.  
  
"Ah... well... about this *hug* you speak of. Is it supposed to cut off a person's blood circulation?" Lex smirked, though his trouble with breathing had nothing to do with blood circulation.  
  
"Nope, but it's always a bonus." The girl laughed, deciding to pull away from him before she did something stupid- like rip his shirt off or something.  
  
Lex let out a breath he'd been holding when Chloe released him and leaned back into her seat before he could return the hug.  
  
"Well that didn't last very long. I think I need more comfort than that?" he replied, giving her his best hurt-Lex look.  
  
Chloe smirked, "Sorry. I don't fraternize with men about to get married, besides your fluorescent orange bow tie is blinding me."  
  
"I can't believe that woman forced me to wear this." He groaned, ripping the tie from his neck and tossing it aside. His white silk shirt was slightly rumpled at this point.  
  
"Yeah, well the whole thing was a little weird. I almost expected someone to release a flock of doves or something." Chloe muttered.  
  
"Close... we were going to have Foo-foo her cat be the ring bearer- but that's where I drew the line."  
  
"Lex, I must say that you have extremely bad taste in woman- oh! What happened to the ring?"  
  
Lex grinned, pulling out the jewel from his pocket. "I still have it with me. You were right about not getting that expensive one. It would have been such a waste on that woman. I still can't believe that I can't find someone who isn't after my money."  
  
"I'm sure you'll figure it out. I mean the perfect person could be right under your nose!" Chloe stated.  
  
"I doubt it Sullivan- I'm a highly observant person," Lex stated, "I seriously cannot think of anyone at the moment."  
  
The pair sat in silence for a few moments, thinking about who on earth would make a fitting bride for the Luthor. The answer seemed to elude the two gifted minds.  
  
"Oh- what about that doctor?" Chloe asked.  
  
"Ugh, don't remind me of the demon lady... let's just say that I wasn't meant for her. No man deserved to be with her. Now I have to look over my phonebook again and start proposing to woman I don't like."  
  
"Get a grip Luthor. You have two days, I'm sure you'll find someone. Now take your mind off that for a while and show around this limo of yours?" Chloe asked curiously, "I've only ever been in those crappy rental ones- does this thing have a good sound system?"  
  
Lex raised his eyebrow an gave her a grin, "Oh, it can do a whole lot more."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Please Review ^ __^ 


	10. The Limousine Part I

Chapter 10: The Limousine Part I  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lex snatched a remote control from the small compartment behind him.  
  
"This limo provides hours of entertainment Sullivan... there's the TV..." he stated, switching on the screen at the front of the limo. It was CNN.  
  
**I'm coming to you live and on site at the Metropolis Central Church where Lex Luthor, son of the late Lionel Luthor, was to be wed. Only moments ago this spur of the moment fairy tale wedding was shattered as an unidentified caucasian woman disrupted the proceedings. Our sources tell us that after a chaotic episode, Mr. Luthor and the unknown woman stormed out of the church and allegedly left in a white limousine. That's all for now, we'll keep you updated as information becomes available. Back to the station for sports and weath-**  
  
"Okay, let's not watch TV..." Lex stated switching it off. "I really can't understand why people would find my social life so interesting."  
  
"Well when one richest men in the country plan a wedding, people tend to take notice." Chloe grinned. "...and apparently I'm the unidentified woman who ruined it all!"  
  
"Saved me is more like it." the man smiled, tossing the remote aside.  
  
"Hey, you know what? Your life is kinda like that movie... The Bachelor- have you seen it? Well of course you haven't seen it, you don't exactly scream guy-who-loves-chick-flicks." she said answering her own question.  
  
"On the contrary Sullivan, I *have* watched that movie." the man admitted with a laugh.  
  
"Really?! Well I was forced to sit through a Lana Lang pink-nail-polish-and- movie-night-sleepover. What's your excuse?"  
  
"My jet broke down and I was forced to fly middle class. It was between the chick-flick and something about a dude and his car dubbed in Japanese."  
  
Chloe laughed lightly which in turn released a grin from the Luthor who suddenly felt the desire to show her more.  
  
"Let's get back to the limo tour... this would be the state of the art sound system with the bass thing and fancy audio effects that I don't know how to use." he said as a gentle, rhythmic piece of jazz started playing.  
  
"Niiiice..." Chloe commented appreciatively.  
  
"Then of course there's the drinks, would you like something? I have... vodka, wine and root beer."  
  
Chloe smirked. "Root beer? That hardly seems romantic enough for newly weds?"  
  
"Yeah, well... the alcohol was to numb my senses to the fact that I had just been married and the root beer can was in case I felt the need to smash the window open and escape." Lex explained half truthfully.  
  
"Ah... very well planned, but I don't drink root beer and it's too early to get drunk." She replied smoothly.  
  
"Really? Well I'm sure I can find something else in here that will tempt you Sullivan...?" Lex asked raising an eyebrow with a somewhat evil smile.  
  
"I never get tempted Luthor." she said matching his gaze.  
  
"Careful Sullivan- you know how I like a challenge..."  
  
"It's not challenge Lex, there's nothing you have that could possibly tempt- ooooh... what's that?!" Chloe asked as she caught sight of something behind the drinks.  
  
"Ah... could it be that I found your Achilles heel?"  
  
"Please- I have no weak spots, now move over," she said, pushing him aside with her shoulder while crouching down to look into the small fridge.  
  
"It is indeed a delicious sight Sullivan... what makes you so sure I'm willing to share it?" Lex asked slyly.  
  
"Who said anything about sharing?" Chloe corrected.  
  
The pair gazed at the dessert... at the single crystal glass that held a fluffy white layer of ice cream topped of with crisp strawberries and drenched in a dark chocolate coating.  
  
"Your right Sullivan...something that exquisite can belong to only one person."  
  
"I couldn't agree more. That's why I think you should let me have it- women need ice-cream more than men do."  
  
"Why is that?"  
  
"Well we're the ones that go through childbirth and have to put up the male species' crap. This stuff was invented for us and besides- I saw it first."  
  
"You're failing to mention the fact that this *is* my limo... and technically it's my ice-cream."  
  
"So it is, but you owe me Luthor. I helped stop that doomed wedding of yours."  
  
"...and I thank you, but that doesn't mean you deserve the ice-cream."  
  
Chloe glanced at the man before giving him a smile and leaning closer to him.  
  
"You know on second thought... it's much more fun eating ice-cream when you're eating it with someone else..." she whispered closing in, making sure she had his attention.  
  
"Wouldn't you rather taste it together...?"  
  
The man mind was momentarily confuzzled by the hypnotic movement of her lips- the perfect opportunity for the woman to make her move. She reached into the mini fridge and grabbed the crystal glass.  
  
"Ha! Take that Luthor!" she stated with satisfaction quickly returning to her seat with her prize.  
  
The man snapped out of his daze, realizing what Chloe had done.  
  
"Hey you cheated!" he retorted, lounging back into his seat, "I honestly feel violated."  
  
"I never knew there were rules," she replied innocently, savoring the moment.  
  
"Well Sullivan you might have your womanly ways, but I also have a few tricks up my sleeve."  
  
"...and what would they be?"  
  
"Superior upper body strength."  
  
Lex snatched the glass away from her with relative ease- but to his surprise, she didn't surrender. Instead she managed to lunge at him, knocking him down onto his back so he lay on the seat.  
  
"I'm not giving up that easily!" Chloe snapped, pinning the man down and making a grab for the glass that was just out of her reach.  
  
To his horror, Lex's muscles tightened under him. Chloe didn't even realize the effect she was having on his brain chemistry- the short black skirt she wore didn't help matters either.  
  
"You know... when you jump on a man and start wriggling on him it usually sends a certain message," he said slowly. With his one free hand he reached to the side of her face and brushed aside her falling hair.  
  
Chloe glanced down at the Luthor who she had forced down with her own body and hotly realized what he meant. Thoughts of the ice-cream promptly fled her mind.  
  
"There's something I want to tell you Sullivan..."  
  
The girl held her breath and her eyes widened as he trailed his hand around her neck then down her back. With a swift motion he twirled her body around and sent her flying off the seat onto the limo's floor with a shriek.  
  
"I never loose a challenge."  
  
Lex grinned to himself smugly before realizing that Chloe hadn't moved from her spot and her eyes were faintly closed.  
  
"Sullivan...?" he asked, "Hahaha... now get up- nobody ever died from falling off the seat of a limo."  
  
The young woman was motionless.  
  
Lex knelt down beside her, "Sullivan? I'm serious- get up!" he said, lightly slapping her cheek. He felt a deep fear in the pit of his stomach as he reached around her shoulders to shake her back to life.  
  
"This isn't funny... are you alright? Sullivan? Sullivan?! Chloe!"  
  
The girl snorted with laughter- she couldn't take it anymore and slapped the man's hands away before snatching up the ice-cream again. That would teach him not to mess with her.  
  
"My goodness Luthor- you think you would have learned by now?" she commented, removing the protective plastic covering and dipping the spoon into the dessert. It was then that she noticed the bewildered expression on the man's face.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Sullivan! I thought you were concussed! I swear to God if you ever do that to me again I'll kill you myself!" he snapped viciously, leaning back down in the seat. This limo was too small for the both of them.  
  
"Fine... I'm sorry. I guess it would be pretty bad press for you if they found the unidentified female dead in your limo."  
  
Lex nodded- though that hadn't been the reason for his concern.  
  
Chloe sighed, feeling a twinge of guilt. Ugh... she hated feeling guilty. With a scoop of the spoon she held it to Lex's mouth. He raised an eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I'm giving you the first taste just in case somebody poisoned it or something."  
  
"You are so thoughtful Sullivan." the man stated with a grin.  
  
The two leaned forward as Lex took the spoon in his mouth, running his tongue over the smooth ice cream, but keeping eye contact with the woman before him. Just then they ran over a speed bump and the spoon struck against his pearly whites.  
  
"Ah!" he yelled releasing the spoon and quickly drawing his hand up to his mouth.  
  
"Are you trying to kill me Sullivan?!"  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," she winced, "There was a bump in the road."  
  
"My God, I think it's bleeding," he muttered.  
  
"Well if you bled all over the spoon I suppose we can't use it anymore."  
  
"Hey, can I get a little sympathy over here? What if I chipped a tooth?"  
  
"Actually I think you chipped the spoon."  
  
"I'm in pain here!"  
  
"Here let me see."  
  
Chloe grabbed Lex's chin with one hand, forcing his mouth open and lifted up his top lip with the thumb and index finger of her other hand.  
  
"thee thany thing?" he mumbled  
  
"Nope. You're fine." she said releasing him and checking the spoon before dipping it back into the dessert.  
  
Lex ran his tongue over the injured area and decided that major reconstructive surgery would not be needed. He glanced at Chloe silkily eating up the dessert and grinned.  
  
"Hey, gimme some!" he demanded.  
  
Chloe, who was midway through a strawberry, looked like she was contemplating his request. A drop of chocolate fell just above the edge of her red top and she unconsciously scooped it up with her finger and sucked it.  
  
If he didn't know better Lex could have sworn she'd done that on purpose.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Awww. the nice reviews make me so happy! 


	11. The Limousine Part II

Chapter 11: The Limousine- Part II  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Sullivan... there's a certain amount of technique and finesse that accompanies the art of chocolate strawberry eating." Lex explained moving over to sit on the seat beside her.  
  
"Oh really...? Well, please- enlighten me?" Chloe asked with a curious tone, tucking her legs beneath her so she could turn to face him. She laid the glass between them.  
  
Lex picked off his own dripping melted chocolate strawberry with two fingers, then tilted his head back ever so slightly, sliding the treat into his mouth with a flick of his tongue. The whole scene sent Chloe into a trance.  
  
"Now that's how you eat a strawberry..." Lex stated, licking his lips and wiping up a few stray chocolate droplets. He rested his arm along the top of the seat, awaiting the verdict.  
  
"Mmmm... mega points for seductiveness- pity about the chocolate up your nose." Chloe murmured with a smirk, trying to cover up her blush.  
  
"I'd give it an eight."  
  
"An eight?!" Lex asked, completely insulted with his score. "The ice cream and chocolate is all melty now- I can't help it if it drips. Besides- I doubt you could do better?"  
  
"Nice try, but I'm not going to display my true strawberry eating powers in front of you." she stated, suddenly aware of the delicate contour of his chocolate covered lips.  
  
"Oh, is Sullivan scared? Hm...? Frightened of the big bad Luthor that jump on you if he gets turned on...?"  
  
"Please! I'm not at all intimidated by you!" she snapped indignantly.  
  
"Prove it." Lex demanded, tilting his head down and looking up at her defiantly. He lifted the chocolate dripping strawberry to her lips, confidant that she'd back down.  
  
Chloe glanced at the Luthor who displayed a teasing glint in his eyes. He was so damn arrogant! The young woman leaned in closer to take the strawberry, but found that Lex was inching the fruit closer to himself and further from her mouth. She kept eye contact with the fruit, but paused as a large chocolate drop fell onto the base of Lex's neck. If that wasn't divine intervention she didn't know what was.  
  
Lex's eyes widened as Chloe gripped his shoulders lightly with her hands. She wasn't looking into his eyes, but instead was leaning into him, aiming for her target. Her lips made contact with the sweet chocolate and more importantly- his warm skin.  
  
Chloe never tasted anything so glorious in her entire life. Just as her tongue flipped out for more Lex gasped. Chloe (who hadn't expected him to start making happy-noises) jumped in fright. Unfortunately their coinciding actions had a disastrous effect as they both forgot the crystal glass of melted ice cream that lay between them. It wobbled dangerously.  
  
"Lex grab the-!"  
  
But it was too late. A part of the ice cream had sloshed onto an incriminating part of Lex's black pants.  
  
"Ahhh! Cold!!" he yelled, jerking up so hard that he knocked his head against the ceiling of the vehicle.  
  
"Ouch! Shit, damn this- arg!"  
  
Chloe Sullivan was rendered helpless by the waves of laughter that were rippling through her. She couldn't stop.  
  
"Of course you'd find this funny, Sullivan!" Lex snapped, grabbing a box of tissues and padding at the spot delicately. There were just way too many sensations going through him at this point for him to be able to think straight.  
  
Chloe wasn't listening, she was laughing too hard as tears streamed down her face, but she tried her best to stop for the sake of the Luthor's dignity.  
  
"I'm sorry.!" she began, "it's just so funny. *breathes* okay, I'm done with the laughter."  
  
"Thank you- because this situation is very serious! Do you realize that extreme cold in this particular region could render a man sterile?!" he yelled.  
  
His comment only spun Chloe into another fit of laughter. Many ice-creamed tissues later Lex gave up.  
  
"I need new pants!"  
  
"Well." Chloe began calming her laughter.  
  
"Don't you have your honeymoon bags packed in here somewhere? You can stop off somewhere and change."  
  
"Good thinking Sullivan!" Lex said, pulling down the back seat to get into the trunk.  
  
"The only problem is that we've been followed ever since we left the church so we can't stop. I guess there aren't that many white limos around today." He said, pulling out a black bag and rummaging through its contents.  
  
"What?!" Chloe asked whipping around and noticing a large white van behind them.  
  
"Yeah. I didn't want to freak you out," Lex explained pulling out a pair of tan slacks.  
  
"I'm not freaked out- those reporters are of my kind, I understand the lengths they'll go to get a story." Chloe admitted.  
  
"Yeah well. not all reporters are like you Sullivan.  
  
Driver!" Lex snapped into the intercom.  
  
"Yes sir?" the man's voice replied.  
  
"Where the hell are we?"  
  
"A few minutes out of Metropolis sir."  
  
"I'll double you pay if you get us back there and loose the guys following us."  
  
"Yes sir!"  
  
"Okay- now that's sorted out. Turn around Sullivan."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I need to take my pants off so turn the hell around!"  
  
Chloe grinned, feeling just a twinge of evil.  
  
"Aw. is Lex afraid I might see his little boy parts?"  
  
"Hey- there's nothing little about my boy parts!"  
  
"Of course not- then why the sudden shyness?"  
  
"I just don't want you to be so incredibly turned on by my lack of clothing that you jump on me again."  
  
"What! I didn't jump on you!"  
  
"Whatever you say Sullivan. Try to restrain yourself please." Lex said condescendingly as the pants flew off with a swift zipper sound.  
  
"Why do your boxers have frills on them?" Chloe asked raising an eyebrow at the upper edge of his blue underwear. The paused at her remark, thoroughly insulted.  
  
"Sullivan please... Calvin Klein doesn't put frills on men's boxers... these are merely for extra hold made for the charismatic man on the move who-"  
  
"-secretly wishes he were a woman?" Chloe ended off with a laugh. "I'm sorry Lex- but I lived with Lana Lang for a year, I know frills when I see 'em."  
  
"They're tassels!"  
  
"Frills!"  
  
"Tassels!"  
  
"Frills!  
  
"Tassels!"  
  
"Either way- it's still very gay. Is their something you're not telling me Luthor...?"  
  
"Ah! For once in your life will you just admit that I'm right and you're wrong about the manly tassels?"  
  
"Sorry Lex... I could swear I used to have a dress laced with the exact same lining when I was seven- from where I'm sitting, those are still frills."  
  
"Well then maybe you need a closer look." he said moving in front of her with a grunt so she was eye level with his boxers.  
  
"See...?"  
  
Chloe bit her lip in concentration, studying the silky blue rim.  
  
"Okay, they- I guess they're more of a masculine frilly thing, but still not very functional." she said, her eyes trailing up his wrinkled white shirt to meet his gaze.  
  
"My God Sullivan- you're the hardest person to convince! Look, the *tassels* fit onto the inner drawstring that provides extra elasticity and support to the needed areas- see?"  
  
Lex tugged on his boxers, "All firm and in control- I could have a hundred woman hanging onto it and it would still hold."  
  
"Wishful thinking... I guess there's only one way to decide how functional they are Luthor..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	12. The Limousine Part III

The Limousine Part III (Yes, I'm very original with chapter titles)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hm..." Chloe murmured, hooking her thumbs into the sides of his boxers and pulling them apart. Without making eye contact with Lex, she ran her fingers horizontally between his waist and the material, feeling the contrast of the smooth skin and silky boxers. She decided they were way better than briefs- then again Lex's body was built to complement any type of clothing....  
  
"Okay... I guess they are rather functional- you win Luthor." she smirked, slowly releasing him. She'd totally taken advantage of the opportunity.  
  
"W-Well... good." he stated once his brain had began functioning again... for some reason it had taken all his self control not to sink down into her...  
  
"Oh... is Lex feeling self conscious again?" Chloe asked, glad that she'd finally caught *him* off guard.  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow and let his eyes shamelessly trail down her body that made her break into a slight blush.  
  
"You know if you took your skirt off we'd be on even ground." he mentioned casually, tilting his head down further.  
  
"Haha."  
  
"Just a suggestion."  
  
"Well stop suggesting! The strawberry game was bad enough."  
  
"Ah yes. but I do believe it was you who started the licking."  
  
"Please, you were asking for that one!"  
  
"That may be so- but you broke the rules. you never even finished."  
  
"That's because you were making weird happy-noises."  
  
"Happy noises?"  
  
"Yeah, like this gaspy sound- like a fish being strangled."  
  
"Well I guess your seductive ways bring out the strangled fish in me."  
  
"Hey I've never had any complaints before."  
  
"Oh, let me guess- it was that one time you let Clark get to second base?"  
  
"Please... I've had way more action that Clark! Ugh... if you can even call it action- God it was like being fondled by a priest."  
  
Lex burst out laughing at her comment. Then collapsed into the opposite seat, propping his socked feet up next to her and staring at her. He swore he saw something new every time he looked at her.  
  
"...I'm serious! I think it ruined all future sexual experiences I've had since then."  
  
"Maybe you just needed the right person to come alng? Someone with more experience..." Lex stated innocently.  
  
Chloe rolled her eyes scooped up the forgotten ice-cream glass from the floor- anything to divert her attention from rumpled yet incredibly attractive man. She glanced into the glass which contained the remnants of the ice cream... melted- but still good in a gooey sticky way.  
  
"I don't believe you deserve that Sullivan..."  
  
"Well tell that to your pants- it soaked up most of it." Chloe shot back, running the tip of her finger along the edge of the glass then giving it a quick lick.  
  
"-but that's because you were licking me the wrong way which forced me to gasp wich made you jump-"  
  
"Are we going to get back into this conversation?" Chloe groaned. "There was nothing wrong with my licking."  
  
"Chloe...if you're going to lick someone you really should learn to do it correctly."  
  
"Well when someone comes up with a definition for the 'correct way to lick' let me know." she mumbled rolling her eyes.  
  
"Give me the ice-cream."  
  
"Why.?"  
  
"Because you need a lesson Sullivan."  
  
Chloe bit a corner of her lip in effort to kill the smile that was forming.  
  
"I don't need any sort of lesson- least of all from you..." she replied insincerely.  
  
"Nonsense Sullivan. What if your future dark haired big-eyed dumb boyfriend and you are in this exact same position someday, and you fail to lick him correctly? Then where would you be?" Lex asked, his voice dripping with concern.  
  
"Luthor, I'm not going to let you- what are you doing?" she snapped as Lex shifted onto the seat beside her, putting his arm on the seat rest behind her.  
  
Lex gave her an innocent look, "Well nothing... yet."  
  
"Might I remind you that you're going to be married to- whoever, in a couple of days?"  
  
"I'd rather you didn't..." he said, laying a hand over her stomach and firmly pushing her back against the limo's door.  
  
"Luthor- honostly I thought you'd have more self control than this." Chloe snapped, her cheeks burning with a heated fury.  
  
"Come on Sullivan, you know that I'm doing this for purely educational reasons." He stated as Chloe propped herself up on her elbows for leverage and looked at him annoyed.  
  
"There's nothing educational about... oh... hm..." she mumbled as Lex started shifting both of them into a more comfort. her brain was not functioning and began a shut down procedure.  
  
Lex's eyes danced with teasing anticipation. He maneuvered her so that she was at more of an angle with the door.  
  
"So the ice-cream won't run off too fast." he explained. She didn't look like she'd registered what he'd said. Her eyes were half closed and fixated on the area where the opening of his shirt ended.  
  
Lex grinned and moved in so that his legs were on either side of her hips..  
  
"Let's call this the practical part of the lesson- before the lickage begins, your guy should make sure you're comfortable. It should be his primary concern. If it isn't- then you should dump him immediately."  
  
Chloe blinked a few times, trying to follow what he was saying and ignore the gentle pressure his body was making on her hips.  
  
"Well that doesn't make sense. Guys are always in it for themselves, especially when it comes to- well you know."  
  
"I'm surprised a woman like you would take that lying down? Excuse the pun."  
  
"Yeah, well we all have our weak points..."  
  
"Well I do believe I know what yours are Sullivan," Lex smiled, gripping her hips lightly to force her into leaning her back.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow!" Chloe yelped.  
  
"What?! I haven't even done anything yet!" he stated wearing a slightly bewildered look.  
  
Chloe pushed herself up a little, knocking lightly into his chest. She felt the area behind her and grabbed the small remote control that had been digging into her back.  
  
"Honestly Luthor, you're supposed to check for these things first- you could injure a woman." she said annoyed. Her eyes tried to focus of his, but for some reason her sight kept dropping to his lips.  
  
Lex gave her an apologetic smile and took the remote, tossing it over his shoulder.  
  
"My mistake... maybe this isn't such a good idea." he sighed dramtically.  
  
"What?!" Chloe snapped, wincing at the disappointment she'd let seep into her voice.  
  
"I mean what if you fall madly in love with me and then start following me around Sullivan?"  
  
"Ha! That's highly unlikely Luthor. As I recall this isn't technically a sexual act anyway."  
  
"Good point. I mean sure you're in a limo with chocolate ice-cream strawberries and a man without pants- but that doesn't have to add up to anything sexual. Especially not with me of all people."  
  
"Exactly- but if it helps your conscience I'll pretend it's not you."  
  
Lex paused for a moment.  
  
"Then close your eyes Sullivan."  
  
The girl followed his instructions- a small smile playing on her lips as he laid his body gently against hers. It was a tight squeeze on the leather seats- but they were just able to fit. With his hands gripping the edges of the seat he nudged her face with his nose blowing gently across her ear. He felt a tremor beneath him and stopped.  
  
"Sullivan...?" he asked looking down at her eyes. They were still closed but she seemed to be fighting off an expression of- amusement?  
  
"Hm... not the reaction I was expecting." he muttered confused as she let out a smirk.  
  
"I'm sorry- it's just that I'm ticklish... so stop the blowing." she ordered.  
  
Lex grinned, "Yes ma'm, Anything else you want me to do?"  
  
"Yeah, get your knee off my spleen."  
  
"Oh- er... sorry... if I had you in a bed this would be much more comfortable."  
  
"Comfortable is not always exciting- and besides, I don't want to sleep with you. As you said, we're having a lesson."  
  
"Point taken..."  
  
"Less talk, more ice-cream Luthor," Chloe said resting her arms lightly over his shoulders. She couldn't see him, but in her minds eye she knew the man was grinning at her.  
  
Lex complied with her request, reaching for the cup that was placed on the floor.  
  
Chloe stirred beneath him in anticipation, pushing slightly upwards against his body. The force of her movement released an involuntary moan from Lex.  
  
"Sheesh- try to contain yourself Luthor, we haven't even started yet." Chloe smirked. "Now can get a move on here? I'm not getting any younger."  
  
"Now that's a good thing because then this would probably be illegal."  
  
"Like that would stop you. where's the ice cream?"  
  
"Wow- not the patient type are we Sullivan?"  
  
He saw a faint color rise to her cheeks and he smirked. He stole the opportunity to run his fingers up her soft skin as her shirt rode up her body.  
  
"Hey! Watch the hands Lex!" Chloe said as her eyes snapped open and she smacked him lightly on his shoulder.  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're not having a groping lesson!"  
  
"Sullivan- teenage boys grope. I explore."  
  
"Well if you want to finish this lesson you better keep your expeditions away from regions under my top." she stated bluntly.  
  
The truth of the matter was that if he started doing things with his hands then she'd want to reciprocate and then... well then things would go further than she wanted them to. She couldn't actually feel something for him emotionally... she'd only wind up getting hurt. Call it Chloe logic.  
  
Lex raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You want to do this touchless?"  
  
"Hm... now that sounds like and interesting idea."  
  
"Fine but then you don't get to touch either Sullivan."  
  
Lex pulled Chloe's hands from around his shoulders and placed them back on the seat which released and unsatisfied grunt from her.  
  
"They were your rules Sullivan- not mine." he said softly brushing his cheek past her wild hair.  
  
Lex studied the remaining droplets of sticky ice cream. He tipped the glas slightly, sending a smooth line of white flowing across her neck in a horizontal line.  
  
"Gah! Luthor, watch it- this was an eighty dollar shirt and I'm not going to-" she stopped when she felt a warm tongue graze the surface of her skin tenderly. With a small intake of breath she leaned back into the seat- her eyes still closed.  
  
"Okay. never mind about the top." she murmured, cursing the no-hands rule she made. The only thing she felt like doing was touching him- taking off that damn shirt that was in her way.  
  
Lex smiled as he looked down on her, "See Sullivan- the trick is to go after the person when they least expect it- surprise them."  
  
"Surprise- got it." she said, unconsciously rubbing her leg against his.  
  
Lex restrained himself from persuing any sort of advancement in areas lower their waists. Chloe wasn't like other woman who would throw themselves at him- she was more likely to kick him in the groin which was even greater reason not to piss her off.  
  
"...then you want to start gently and work your way up the three different lick-levels." he said, wishing she'd stop pushing up against him like that. It was bad enough he could sense every inch of her through her flimsy top and skirt, but the fact that he couldn't touch her was driving him insane.  
  
"What level are we on?" she breathed into his ear.  
  
"One."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Lex smiled at her surprise as he trailed his tongue collarbone in long smooth lines. She tasted just as sweet without the ice-cream.  
  
"You like?"  
  
"Hm. very nice work Luthor." She said with an unsteady breath, tightening her grip on the leather seat.  
  
"Just nice? We'll have to fix that." Lex said insulted.  
  
He pressed his body into hers harder, forcing her further into the soft leather. He nudged her cheek with his, giving him full access to her beckoning neck. The groan that she'd held in for so long was finally released as Lex swirled his tongue around in careless circles purposefully licking up any remnants of the ice-cream. He could feel her chest firmly secured against his through the thin red material barely covering anything at this point.  
  
"Did we just skip level two and go directly to three?" she whispered delicately into his ear, her words coming in short breaths.  
  
Lex smiled- breaking the rules momentarily to entwine his fingers with hers. "No. this would be level three."  
  
The man glanced down at her neck, picking a neat spot and squeezed their fingers together before he drove in to give her a firm nip. It forced a gasp to escape from Chloe's lips and her eyes to fly wide open. She was breathless and wearing the most seductively shocked expression he'd ever seen on a woman. Lex grinned down at her, their fingers disentangled hastily. He was rewarded with a sharp smack on the back of the head. "You bit me!"  
"You smacked me!"  
  
"But you bit me! I might need go get a vaccination!"  
  
"I'd tell you if I had rabies Sullivan!"  
  
"Well it hurt!"  
  
"But it was the good kind of hurt right.?"  
  
Chloe didn't answer that question as she rolled her head back to catch her breath- unknowingly giving Lex a better view of her chest.  
  
"Ow! I thought you got rid of that damn remote control?" she said annoyed, shifting uncomfortably.  
  
"It's by my leg now." she complained, reaching down between their bodies.  
  
"There isn't-" Lex stopped when he realized Chloe wasn't feeling the remote, but something entirely different. He shot himself off her in record time.  
  
"O-Okay- remote's gone now...You're a good student Sullivan." he smirked, covering up any traces of embarrassment.  
  
A small smile played on her lips as she propped herself back up, still leaning against the door with a silent sigh.  
  
"We'll it's hard not to be with a teacher like you Lex. I'm sure the next guy I fool around with will want to thank you."  
  
Lex's brow furrowed involuntarily as he imagined Chloe playing the lick-me- game with someone else- but quickly brushed the thought out of his mind.  
  
"Yes, well it's a very handy trick for when you eventually do it, Sullivan." he said as she adjusted her clothes.  
  
"What do you mean eventually?"  
  
"I mean when you get around to having sex."  
  
You thought I was a virgin?!"  
  
Lex paused trying to formulate words under the annoyed glare he was receiving.  
  
"Well yes. Not that I'd thought about it- I mean of course I thought about it, but it wasn't... I never actually sat down and wondered if- the thought had crossed my mind a few times but I never gave it much-"  
  
"Giving you an opportunity to stop talking now."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Chloe paused wondering if it was just her imagination that made the man turn an interesting shade of red.  
  
"Lex Luthor, did I just make you blush?!"  
  
"What? Don't be insane- Luthors don't blush. We're like the dead only we pretend to have emotions." he stated, sitting in the further corner of the limo.  
  
"If it helps I've only done it once- and that was a huge mistake."  
  
"Did what?"  
  
"Have sex."  
  
"That's your business Chloe. I really couldn't care less."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Pause  
  
"Was it... was it with Clark?"  
  
"EEEEEWWWWW!!!!"  
  
"Sorry! I just assumed-"  
  
"Well your assuming made me nauseous. I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Okay.. fine..."  
  
Pause  
  
"Come on Sullivan- tell me who it was?"  
  
"Why are you so interested?"  
  
"I think I've answered enough of your questions over the years to earn me this one?"  
  
"Well If you must know It was with a friend of mine- from Metropolis. It did have a little to do with Clark though. You remember when he and I went out for about two weeks in senior year?"  
  
"Oh yes... I warned him about you."  
  
"How ironic... I warned him about you."  
  
"Yeah- but Clark never wanted to date me."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure Luthor."  
  
"Hahaha Sullivan."  
  
"Well you were always hanging around him!"  
  
"Only because he was the only one in that damn town who didn't want me burned at the stake."  
  
"I never wanted you burned at the stake, Luthor. You were one of the few fascinating people in Smallvile- besides, it would have been a fire hazard."  
  
"But you hardly spoke to me in Smallville!"  
  
"Well that's because I was Clark-obsessed and you were still trying to *find yourself*. We were both at different places."  
  
"I still had more in common with you than anyone else... I think that's what made me want to stay away from you. Anyway- get back to your story?"  
  
"What story?"  
  
"You're first-time story."  
  
"Fine, okay... Well I'd been dating Clark for a while and I -being the delusional young sixteen year old that I was- thought that Clark and I were madly in love. Then I happened to walk into Clark's room one fateful day guess which dark haired waitress he was making out with?"  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"Yeah- no kidding. Now that I think about it, it was totally gross- it was like watching two toilet plungers sucking on each other- but at the time, I totally distraught. I ran out the room, got into my car and didn't stop driving till I hit Metropolis."  
  
"Wow... I'm sorry Chloe..." "Yeah, me too, I blew a weeks worth of gas money on that trip. Anyway, so I ran into an friend of mine from my old school and-  
  
"Name?"  
  
"Eric. Then-"  
  
"Last name?"  
  
"Why don't I just give you his social security number?"  
  
"Give it to me later, I don't have a pen on me. Now what did he do?"  
  
"Nothing. I was hurt and alone and more importantly- drunk so we kinda ended up together in one of those bedrooms upstairs."  
  
"He took advantage of you while you were drunk?!"  
  
"No, Lex. I'm pretty sure that I was the instigator of the whole thing."  
  
"...but he never bothered to stop you?"  
  
"He was a teenage boy, what would you have done?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Exactly. Besides, we've gotten over that and we're still really close friends."  
  
"How close?"  
  
"Well he's the only one in the world who knows how to make regular coffee exactly the way I like it."  
  
"Wow- that's pretty close..."  
  
Just then the car pulled to a halt outside Lex's apartment building and the driver opened the dividing window between them.  
  
"Sir...? We're almost out of gas- but we lost those reporters"  
  
"Oh..." Lex said somewhat disappointedly, glancing at his watch and realizing how late it was.  
  
"Crap. I need to go propose to women now..." he grunted. "Fill up then you can give Miss Sullivan a ride back to Smallville."  
  
"That's alright you can just drop me off on ninth street. I have my car." Chloe said to the driver.  
  
Lex nodded and glanced at the very last strawberry at the bottom of the dish, offering it to Chloe.  
  
"Want it?" he asked, holding the glass out to her.  
  
"Why thank you." Chloe smiled, popping the fruit into her mouth with a smile.  
  
"I guess we won't be having anymore lessons right Mr. Luthor? I mean the next time I see you, you'll be a married man... or do I need to check up on you before then- just in case you pick another leech for a wife?"  
  
"You are welcome to check up on me whenever you wish Miss Sullivan. In all truth I'd rather marry you than sift through the mass of dull women out there" Lex said, surprising himself with the tiny bit of timidity that seeped into his voice.  
  
The two regarded each other for a few moment before breaking into laughter.  
  
"Could you imagine *us* married?" Chloe grinned.  
  
"We'd drive each other insane." Lex agreed.  
  
"Insane? We'd probably end up killing each other."  
  
"Yeah- but they would undoubtably be crimes of passion involving chocolate strawberry ice-cream."  
  
Lex gave Chloe a small smile as she blushed a little. He really hated the fact that he had to leave her at that moment...  
  
"What are you waiting for Luthor? I have places to be too!" she hastened him, restraining herself from pulling him down beneath her to study the contents of his boxers. Mm... boxers...  
  
Lex snapped out of his daze and climbed out of the car, slamming the door behind him before bending down to look through the open window.  
  
"Will you miss me Sullivan?" Lex said cheekily.  
  
"How can I miss you if you don't go away?" came the sweet response.  
  
Lex laughed, leaning against the limo, contemplating his next sentence.  
  
"Meet me tomorrow Sullivan. Help me plan my life out some more? You seem to be a good luck charm."  
  
He saw Chloe ponder the question for a few seconds before coming to a conclusion.  
  
"I can't- saving your social life has set me back a few hours. I have to pack and clear out my room tomorrow then I still have to drive all the way back to Metropolis. I'm only going to get to my new dorm room at about midnight- and that's if there's no traffic."  
  
"Well then come by afterwards? With any luck I'd be getting married that day and you can be my best... woman?"  
  
"Hmm... I don't know..."  
  
"Oh come on, as long as nobody gives us any dessert we should be well behaved...?"  
  
"I'll think about it."  
  
"Does that mean you'll come?"  
  
"No... it means *I'll think about it*. Dictionary Lex- learn to use one."  
  
"So you won't give me an answer?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Does that mean you're not coming?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So you are coming?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"No?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No! No."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Ahhh!!! Goodbye Luthor!" Chloe yelled, putting up the window.  
  
Lex smirked to himself, shaking his head. If only he could find someone like Chloe... she was funny, witty and sexy all crammed into an explosive package- everything he wanted. She'd seriously messed with his brain chemistry.  
  
Just as he saw the limo disappear around the corner it turned back around the way it had come. It stopped right in front of him and the window rolled down.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked with concern.  
  
"Nothing- I just didn't want you to get chilly." Chloe stated, tossing a rolled up bundle of pants to him before the limo sped away leaving a very embarrassed Luthor.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	13. David Boreanaz

David Boreanaz  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
ring, ring, ring  
  
"Sylvia! Hi, I was wondering if you'd like to-"  
  
"Engaged...? Oh, well... does that mean you two are getting serious?"  
  
click  
  
"Are you there?"  
  
(37 seconds layer)  
  
Hey there Crystal, I was wondering if you'd liked to go out-  
  
pause  
  
"Married... ? oh... well how's that working out for you?"  
  
click  
  
"Hello? Hello.?"  
  
(Another 37 seconds later)  
  
"Hey, it's me, Lex. I know we kind of slept together then lost contact but- "  
  
*insert angry female sounds*  
  
"O-Okay, so I never called, but I want you to know I really missed you. You're the only one I've thought of for the past few months. I love you Andrea..."  
  
*Louder, angrier female sounds*  
  
"Amy! That's what I said! Amy! Of course I didn't forget-"  
  
click  
  
(And another 37 seconds later)  
  
"Kristin, it's Lex Luthor please don't hang up... thank you... I'm glad you're willing to talk to me... yes we did have some good times together. well of course I missed you. there's something I want to ask you- and I'm kind of on a deadline so feel free to say yes right away. Would you marry me?"  
  
pause  
  
"Really?! That's great! What do you mean there's been a small development since we last dated? How small?"  
  
pause  
  
"Sex change?!"  
  
Lex hung up the phone and crossed off the last name on his long list. He'd spent the entire morning combing through names of possible brides. So far he'd come up empty and time was running out.  
  
Lex grabbed the phone; "Get me Chloe Sullivan on the line."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Chloe... there's something I have to tell you... I've been wanting to say this for a long time now..." Eric said, running a hand through his dark blonde hair.  
  
Chloe and her friend sat in the Sullivan lounge, deep in conversation. The two had spent the entire day packing Chloe's stuff into boxes to be moved to her dorm in Metropolis that evening- and now they were enjoying one last cup of coffee in the home before leaving.  
  
"You're not going to confess your undying love for me are you?" Chloe asked suspiciously.  
  
"Hell no!"  
  
"Thank God. Okay, well do you have some sort of life threatening disease...and more importantly, is it contagious?" Chloe asked, holding the cushion in front of her as a shield.  
  
"No Chloe, I'm fine- but thanks for the concern." he said grabbing the cushion away from her and hitting her over the head with it.  
  
"Ow! Well will you just tell me this fascinating news already?" she asked, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Um.there's something that I've never told anyone... not even my parents."  
  
"Oh my God! You're really a woman!"  
  
"Can we let me tell the story?"  
  
"Sorry- go on."  
  
"I'm gay."  
  
"Ha! I was close!"  
  
"I mean I'm gay! As in my fantasies "Involve naked men wrestling in the mud."  
  
"Hm.... naked men... mud."  
  
"Hey pay attention!"  
  
"Sorry. So you're gay. Good for you. Yay for gay pride and whatnot"  
  
"Well aren't you going to say anything?"  
  
"Well what do you want? A coming out party? Seriously Eric- I knew this was coming."  
  
"Really?" he asked, his eyes brightening up with excitement, "When exactly did my gayness shine through?"  
  
"Hm... well how about the time you helped me pick out my very first bra- you seemed to have a natural instinct for that sort of thing. Then of course in high school when only the most popular girl asked you to that dance but you were busy staring at the guy's basketball team who'd just got out of the showers. Then lets not forget the time we slept together. My goodness I seriously thought you were picturing Josh Hartnett."  
  
"David Boreanaz actually."  
  
"Really? Well that's not that bad then- but still freaky on a disturbingly kinky level."  
  
"Hey, I'm not the one who owns a pair of handcuffs."  
  
"It's a souvenir!"  
  
"Ah yes... from your frolicking with Lex."  
  
"Twelve year old girls frolic. Lex Luthor doesn't frolic..."  
  
Chloe trailed off, remembering their fleeting time in the limo where he'd worn nothing but that wrinkled white shirt and boxers. and of course socks- but she hadn't been looking at his socks. Nope. it was all about his eyes and the way they danced around hungrily as he'd bent down to her neck twirling his tongue around like he was everywhere at once.  
  
"Holy crap, you're in love with him!"  
  
"What? Don't be stupid. I don't fall in love."  
  
"Chloe and Lex... sitting in a tree..."  
  
"Oh, my God... forget gay you're just immature! Trust me, I like being around the man, but he's just not interested in me like that. I'm not either and if I was it wouldn't matter because he's getting married."  
  
"So what? He's not married yet... you need to grab his attention. Wear some thing short- put a little lipstick on."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous . I-"  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by the rude ringing of the doorbell.  
  
"Ugh, I'll get that- don't break anything while I'm gone." She mumbled, heading out the lounge.  
  
Eric have her a wide grin as she left, putting his legs up onto the table as the dog came into the room jumped onto his lap.  
  
"Frodo... this was much cuter when you weighed less than the continent of Asia." Eric stated, getting up off the seat in effort to move the huge animal.  
  
A cell phone that lay on the couch went off with a shrill ringing and Eric reached for it.  
  
"Chloe Sullivan's phone, how may I help you?" he asked cheerfully.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"Chloe's friend."  
  
"Which friend?"  
  
"The one you're talking to. Who is this?"  
  
"Lex Luthor. Put Chloe on the line."  
  
Eric's grin widened. This was Chloe's Luthor- the guy she didn't know she liked yet... He began to formulate a plan. As her gay best friend it was his duty to help Chloe get her man! A little play on Lex's jealous streak was all that was needed... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	14. Unwanted Guests

Unwanted Guests  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Um... Chloe and I are busy." Eric stated.  
  
"Did you tell her it was Lex?"  
  
"You're name is Lex? Hm. I don't believe she's ever mentioned you. which is weird because I know everything about Chloe since she *is* my closest friend."  
  
"Oh really? Who might you be?"  
  
"Eric Chase. Maybe she's mentioned me? I'm about six foot with green eyes, blonde hair and a pretty nice build if I do say so myself. Did I mention that Chloe and I were close?"  
  
"Well Mr. Chase as much as I'm enjoying this conversation, I'd much rather be talking to Chloe."  
  
"Oh wouldn't we all? I mean who wouldn't want to talk to a fox like her?"  
  
sound of gritting teeth  
  
"Okay- sheesh, don't get your panties in a twist. Gimme a second- she's in the shower, I'll go in and see if she's done." he said, running to the kitchen and turning on the taps so they made a wooshing sound into the phone.  
  
"Wait! Don't go into-"  
  
"Chloekins! Lex Luthor is- oh my goodness Chloe, shame on you... go put some clothes on! Hello Lex? She can't talk right now because she'd very wet and naked. I'll tell her you called. Bye!"  
  
"Wait! Don't-"  
  
click  
  
Eric grinned as he returned to the lounge. Mission accomplished.  
  
"Who was at the door Chlo?" he asked returning to the lounge at the same time as she did.  
  
"Clark and Lana- I think they wanted some sort of reconciliation before we all headed for Met U." she said distastefully.  
  
"What kind of reconciliation?"  
  
"They said they were willing to forgive me for standing in the way of their love and for being an all round bitch this past year. It was my final chance to be accepted into the Lana-clone and Clark ass-kissing associations."  
  
"...and what did you say?"  
  
"I told them not to let the door hit them on the way out. Then I accidentally let Frodo outside." Chloe mentioned, looking out the window.  
  
"He bit Clark on the butt but then decided to go for Lana instead- I think he's still chasing her around the yard."  
  
"And here I thought the high-pitched screaming was all in my head." Eric stated, picking up his jacket.  
  
"You ready to leave?" he asked.  
  
"Uh huh. I'm not going to miss this place," she stated, picking up a few boxes and going to load the car.  
  
"When do you start classes?"  
  
"In a couple of days... I have my interview for that working internship at the Daily Planet tomorrow morning. How about your interview?"  
  
"I'm probably not going to get it anyway. there are tons of better photographers that are trying to get those junior positions."  
  
"Give me a break- you're the best in your generation, they'll be lucky to have you. Remember when you took that photo of a worm in the mud and it turned out looking like a rainbow emerging from a waterfall?"  
  
"Yes. but that was accidental. I guess we're both going to have to do our best at those interviews Chloe. It could be fun working together. Imagine all the hot male reporters we'll get to hit on."  
  
"You can have them all. I'm going there for one reason and that's to be the best damn reporter there is and nothing's going to stand in my way."  
  
"Wow... go Chloe! You have so much inspiration- why weren't you my football coach? Maybe then I wouldn't have quit."  
  
"You didn't quit you were kicked off the team for inappropriate touching."  
  
"Ah yes. those wonderfully tight pants.Speaking of tight pants Lex Luthor called."  
  
"WHAT!? What did he say!?"  
  
"I thought you didn't care about him?"  
  
"Eric..." the girl warned with a dangerous tone.  
  
"Okay... he wanted to talk about something."  
  
"Did he leave a number?"  
  
"You spent the afternoon in car with the man and you didn't get his number!"  
  
"We were preoccupied."  
  
"I'm sure you were..."  
  
"Shut up and get in the car."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	15. Very Bad Decisions

Very Bad Decisions  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lex slammed the phone down, extremely pissed off. He got up and started pacing up and down the the lounge of his Metropolis appartment.  
  
"Okay... fine she won't speak to me because she's *busy* with her *friend* Eric. Apparently their relationship extended further than I first perceived." he said to himself, staring at the ground.  
  
"I seriously couldn't care though. Why would I be interested in Chloe's sex life? Especially since it doesn't involve me? So what if there's another man with her at this very moment...? So what if he's holding her... touching her... kissing her...? She wouldn't use ice cream on him would she...?" Lex sighed and crashed into his couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table.  
  
The man was was too tired to think and the fact that he'd been talking to himself more often during the past few days was anything but an indication of good mental health. Thoughts of Chloe and himself sprawled together in the limo re-entered his mind for what seemed like the billionth time. Maybe she'd stop by later... she said she might...  
  
"Focus Luthor- forget about her." Lex snapped to himself moodily. He didn't have time to think about Chloe... not when his entire industry was at stake.  
  
The man reached over to the table and poured himself a drink. He... felt strangely alone. Maybe he should just give up; loose his fortune and send in his résumé to Walmart.  
  
Lex groaned into his drink... alchohol never did anyone any good, but he was desperate. He needed anything to drown out her seductive voice that was echoing in his mind, drawing out images of her soft skin and the way she'd tasted that afternoon... so much for not thinking about her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Oh my God Chloe- I swear if you turn into a lovesick puppy when you're hot for someone!" Eric stated, rolling his eyes.  
  
The two were unloading the last two boxes from Chloe's beatle convertable hauling them up the stairs to her dorm room.  
  
"Do I look like a love-sick puppy that's hot for someone?" the angry girl snapped, glaring at her friend. She'd been a little distracted- but she hadn't done anything to relay the fact that she was thinking about the Luthor.  
  
"I can tell when you're hot for someone... you're hair is extra flippy and you get so forgetful that you wear two different earings. If that doesn't scream I-want-Lex-Luthor I don't know what does." he said dropping the box to the dusty floor with a thud.  
  
"Eric you know I have issues with my hair, and as for the earings... they're a fashion statement." Chloe stated self conciously fingering the silver hoop on one ear and the diamond stud on the other.  
  
"Yes well I'm sure the cast of That 70's Show would like their fashion statement returned Chloe. Now look- we've got all your boxes upstairs and you can unpack them after we have our interviews at the planet tomorrow morning. So get your ass over to that man's appartment and stop driving me insane with your constant zoning out." Eric said in a breath, grabbing Chloe's keys and jacket, grabbing her hand before leading her out the door.  
  
"B-But it's already close to midnight?" she argued trying to pull away.  
  
"Luthors don't function according to daylight hours- they buy their own time zones. Besides we know where he lives now- he's not the toughest person to track down." he explained.  
  
"Fine... okay... I'm going." Chloe smiled, "You've convinced me."  
  
"Good now get a move on and have fun oh- and try to keep your underwear on."  
  
"Eric!"  
  
"What?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lex Luthor was drunk. Not the tipsy-falling-over-things drunk, but full on I'm-doing-a-handstand-for-the-hell-of-it-drunk... and this is how Chloe found him as she entered his appartment and looked around for him.  
  
"Lex? Are you descent? You're oh-so-friendly-staff told me you were in your bedroom tryi-" Chloe stopped short when she saw the position he was in. Lex was doing a handstand, his back supported by the wall next to his bed. The only the thing he wore was the bottom half of his red silk pj's- a contrast to his bare chest, dimly lit by the light from the fireplace.  
  
"Sullivan! You came!" Lex said with a grin, lifting his head up slightly.  
  
"Y-yeah... maybe this isn't a good time," she said uncertainly, standing at the entrance of the room. It had a warmer quality about it and was quite different from the rest of his appartment. She'd never seen Lex like this before: drunk- and more importantly missing a shirt...  
  
"This is a perfect time. Out of all the women I could have in my room right now I'm glad that it's you!" Lex said loudly, adjusting his arms to get a better grip on the soft rug.  
  
"Oh, well I'm so glad you like me chest... best. I meant like me best." Chloe said quickly, covering up her slip of the tongue.  
  
"Oh... did my naked chest turn Chloe Sullivan on?" Lex asked with false concern, ending with a small hiccup.  
  
She glared at him, "What would you know anyway, you're drunk."  
  
"Well I'm drunk, not deaf. I do believe your verbal judo is slipping." he grinned as he flexed the lean muscles in his arms.  
  
Chloe rolled her eyes and sat down on the rug in front of him, looking at him from an upside down angle.  
  
"You know insults coming from a half naked drunk guy just don't have the same bite... I guess I should leave and let you get back to... er... pooling your blood to your brain." she smiled, but didn't make any effort to get up.  
  
"Nonsense! I'm almost done, my arms have gone numb so it's only a matter of time before they give way and I break my back." Lex laughed, then hiccuped again.  
  
"You're not going to break your back Luthor. I'm sure that stick you have shoved up your ass provides extra support." She commented lightly.  
  
"The lady wounds me!" Lex said dramatically, "I'd snap back at you, but I'm afraid you'll have to settle for this..."  
  
Lex Luthor stuck his tongue out at her.  
  
"...and you wonder why a woman hasn't snatched you up already?" Chloe asked as she removed her denim jacket, tossing it onto his huge circular bed. She frowned.  
  
"Luthor? Why is your bed round?"  
  
Lex grinned, "Push the button on the side," he instructed.  
  
Chloe punched the large red button next to her and suddenly the enormous bed began to revolve around at a slow pace.  
  
"Niiiice..." Chloe said with a laugh.  
  
"I thought you'd appreciate that." he said, "I mean you do after all own those handcuffs of yours. I never actually got to ask you about those. I thought about them more than I should have..." he trailed off.  
  
Chloe hit the button again to make the bed stop, letting her eyes trail up the young man's firm body. Was it her fault that her line of sight happened to coincide with an interesting part of his anatomy?  
  
"Well if I *do* ever use them it wouldn't be with you." she smirked.  
  
"So I'm good enough for dessert, but not for handcuffs?" Lex asked insulted, tilting his head up slightly. He was pretty certain that he had lost all feeling in his arms at this point. He couldn't say the same about other parts though...  
  
"Correct. Now can we change the subject? We could discuss. oh, I don't know- why the hell you're so drunk?"  
  
"I've spent the last week proposing to women and none of them want me. If that doesn't make a man want to drown his misery I don't know what does. The fact that I kept thinking about *you* didn't help either." He snapped. "Ufortunately you were preoccupied at the time of my phone call..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	16. Wasted

Wasted  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Oh right... I wanted to call back but I didn't have time to hunt down your telephone number." Chloe explained, wondering why Lex all of a sudden seemed angry with her.  
  
"Yes well I suppose fucking your boyfriend was more important that talking to me," he mumbled irritably under his breath.  
  
Chloe's jaw dropped slightly at his comment, and she leaned forward to the man, giving him a sharp flick on the nose with her middle finger and thumb.  
  
"Ouch!" Lex yelled, "What was that for?!"  
  
"Don't you dare talk about me like that ever again Luthor. Eric and I are just friends- not to mention the fact that he'd rather sleep with YOU because he's as gay as gay could be!" Chloe yelled, quite insulted.  
  
"...well if you're into gay guys then it's no wonder you didn't want to speak with me," Lex stated. "You know what? At the rate I'm going maybe you should give your friend my number. I wonder if my dad's will said anything about marrying a guy... shit. I've officially gone off the edge."  
  
Chloe smiled somewhat sympathetically. She glanced at the crumpled piece on the floor and picked it up to read. "Was this the lucky list of potentials?"  
  
"Yep"  
  
"You called all of them?"  
  
"Phone bill's so high I may have to sell this appartment and move into a cardboard box."  
  
"I have a couple left over from the move- feel free to stop by and have a look at them."  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Sure- If you hurry I'll throw in some free bubble wrap. Now let's get back to the list... what about Crystal?"  
  
"Engaged."  
  
"Dana?"  
  
"Married."  
  
"Jenny?"  
  
"I slept with her then never called."  
  
"Lydia?"  
  
"Going out out with Jenny."  
  
"Lex! Where are you going to find a woman you haven't slept with that you can trust with your money?"  
  
"Canada?"  
  
"You're never going to inherit your dad's fortune at the rate you're going."  
  
"Oh yes, you still think this is all about the money..."  
  
"What else is there?"  
  
"Think about it Sullivan... if I loose my fortune the company will be divided among the shareholders..."  
  
"Oh..." Chloe said in realisation. If that happened it was likely that pieces of the corporation would be broken off and sold piece by piece. Hundreds of people -including her father- would loose there jobs.  
  
"I-I never even thought about that." Chloe murmerred. "I need to go back to the dorm and see if I can come up with a loophole around this will of yours."  
  
"Don't you think I've tried Sullivan?!" Lex asked frustratedly.  
  
"Well I'm not just going to stand by while my dad loses his job!" Chloe snapped back at him.  
  
"Fine... let me walk you out," Lex said, forgetting he was still in a handstand position.  
  
"No! Lex don't-"  
  
But it was too late. The whole thing felt like it happened in slow motion. Lex's wrist twisted backwards colliding into the jagged edge of the wall forcing his legs over his head and his heel... into Chloe's eye.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


End file.
